Depressed Nigglet and the coughing engine

You see depression then leave me to my hole to dig, you may postpone my wig being split but when you get tired of my love you gonna run away with my shit.  

I used to run with my bitch,  
But lately us dogs can't catch a bone so we praying for heaven.  
 
Im praying for stacks,  
Money making me hungry,  
About to start hustling for racks.  
 
They don't need to love me back,  
We all get  spent, the world taught me that.  
 
My cynicism raping me,  
Looking at all these "friends",  
Wondering why they have forsaken me.  
Family matters made me a hatter.  
The people closest to ya can know how to make you shatter.  
 
Batter up,  
Take it to the head, if you keep reading this I hope we find each other dead.  
 
Mexican stand off,  
El Paso hand off,  
The white girl had my heart,  
Like the fish had my nose.  
23 and living a tale.  
About to be 28 and I feel like I have failed.  
Still young but lost my juice and the stories to be told.  
My heart flipped in itself as I crush and fold.  
 
Emotionally toking,  
Searching for something,  
But now that I gave her a piece and she sits to shit all over my love.  
Im over the love.  
 
Black Rims, Black Tim's, Skull face designer mask,  
My venom,  
Fueled by designer denim,  
My ego fueled by revenge and shine,  
Your fate telepathically intertwined with mine.  
I promise you this.  
if I don't off myself, best believe I'm gonna shine.  
Cause the way I'm feeling,  
I stand alone,  
Waiting by the phone to get a hold of a friend.  
 
Cause God's gets lonely looking down from up above we,  
It's hard but I'm still trying to love me.  
Even if you won't hug me.  
 
Full of mistakes,  
We all aren't great,  
But I'm not a bad guy and I just wish you see before it's too late.  
 
Cause even Gods think about suicide.  
Or suicide doors on a good day.  
 
If I dont do the deed I'm gonna shine.  
 
Tired of seeing death in the mirror.  
 
The white girl tempts me still,  
If I go back I might as well chill.  
Money to be made until I walk away or get killed.  
Lace the boots up and walk amongst Wraiths.  
Then you niggas watch me hop out the Wraith.  
You dont have to like it,  
Trust me I hate the taste,  
My choices were always slim as a nigga,  
Makes me wonder why I didn't end as a nigga.  
But don't mind that,  
This ain't the end of a nigga.  
 
If I don't do the deed I'm gonna shine.  
You'll see my light as take back the flicker in your eyes.  
 
I just hope I don't see the time.  
To see how stupid you will feel inside,  
 
Im raring to go.  
Ignited inside,  
If  come back to these last bits I may feel some pride.  
That you can't hide.  
Even if you want me to die.  
 
Suicide is for the mother fucking doors.