Her Joy

All she wanted to do was go out by herself
Yet this was a very tough decision
Society had forced her to become a bit of an extrovert
Choosing to walk in groups
When she really just sought her own company

She had to think about what she would wear
Because the society she lived in
Felt easily provoked by what she wore

Her grace was taken for granted
Her kindness taken for advances
As such she had to change herself
Just so she could feel safe

Yet on that day she just
Wanted to be free
She just wanted to be
By herself yet out in the world

She still took the precautions
Because her mind was used to overplanning
But she was still determined to have an outing for herself

She just wanted to show herself love
Not that she lacked in self love
Rather she just chose a different love language to express

She knew that she had the weekend off
So she purposely decided
To take herself out on a date
To finally go and see that park
She lived near too
To go out and buy herself something
The order wasn't set
But she just knew that
Her day had come
And how she loved herself
Would be a reflection of how she wanted to be loved by others

At the back of her mind
She was still weary
But she decided not to give in
She decided that she would
Stop doubting her decisions

The world was not safe
But she also didn't want to succumb to fear

So she made a list
And ticked off her tasks
One by one

Her whole day was dedicated
To spoiling herself
To reminding herself
That taking time out
Just to find joy in your journey
Is not a bad thing

When she went out into the world
She promised herself
That she would be happy
And she chose to that today
Was one of the days
When she would celebrate herself
Not because of any particular occasion

Rather she chose to celebrate
Because she knew that her joy
Was the result of knowing herself
It was the result of her loving herself

She had to know her own joy
Without expecting the world to give it to her
Her autonomy was hers
As such her joy was became
her responsibility