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Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
I can shrink to the size of a fruit fly.
Almost invisible,
and with a tiny voice to match.
No one hears a word I say.
No one gives a frick what happens to you when you’re this small.
They’ll just as soon smash you as to look at you.
They won’t think twice.
Or I can become my shadow.
Just a hazy silhouette.
Again, almost invisible, but solid.
Like tinted glass.
People bump into me a lot when I’m my shadow self.
“Oh," they say. "I didn’t see you standing there."
I can become completely hollow so that wind whistles through me.
It’s like music, but eerie,
like the moan of a ghost.
People don’t like the sound of it.
I'm light as ocean froth when I’m hollow.
I have to hold onto something lest I blow away
like a dust bunny in a wind storm.
I can be completely invisible but it's worthless
because it only works when nobody's looking.
I know I’m invisible because I know how it feels,
but then somebody looks in my direction and there I am,
plain as day.
Hiding, as they say, in plain sight.
So complete invisibility, at least in my case, is not that big a deal.
Almost invisible,
and with a tiny voice to match.
No one hears a word I say.
No one gives a frick what happens to you when you’re this small.
They’ll just as soon smash you as to look at you.
They won’t think twice.
Or I can become my shadow.
Just a hazy silhouette.
Again, almost invisible, but solid.
Like tinted glass.
People bump into me a lot when I’m my shadow self.
“Oh," they say. "I didn’t see you standing there."
I can become completely hollow so that wind whistles through me.
It’s like music, but eerie,
like the moan of a ghost.
People don’t like the sound of it.
I'm light as ocean froth when I’m hollow.
I have to hold onto something lest I blow away
like a dust bunny in a wind storm.
I can be completely invisible but it's worthless
because it only works when nobody's looking.
I know I’m invisible because I know how it feels,
but then somebody looks in my direction and there I am,
plain as day.
Hiding, as they say, in plain sight.
So complete invisibility, at least in my case, is not that big a deal.
Written by
javalini
Published 6th Mar 2020
Author's Note
We all have our superpowers.
Image by Shane Kell, www.pexels.com
Image by Shane Kell, www.pexels.com
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 2
comments 16
reads 807
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 1:21pm
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 1:45pm
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 1:29pm
This is crushing, Javalini. It's a great poem, it's just crushingly sad. The life of a wallflower can be brutal at times, and you truly captured that.
In the spirit of honest critique:
I can shrink to the size of a fruit fly— <-- I would replace the period with an em dash
[ a ]lmost invisible,
[ and ] with a tiny voice to match. <-- do you really need 'and'
So complete( ly ) invisibility
I would review my end stops to determine which independent clauses could be linked by semicolons, em dashes, or ellipses.
In the spirit of honest critique:
I can shrink to the size of a fruit fly— <-- I would replace the period with an em dash
[ a ]lmost invisible,
[ and ] with a tiny voice to match. <-- do you really need 'and'
So complete( ly ) invisibility
I would review my end stops to determine which independent clauses could be linked by semicolons, em dashes, or ellipses.
1
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 2:22pm
Thanks, Ahavati, for reading and, as always, for taking time to critique. I like the idea of a dash at the first line.
It was difficult to decide about where to put periods. It felt right -- hoping for a kind of halting quality. Hesitant?
And flat, but not so much as to make the reader give up.
I'm an ambitious dilettante.
It was difficult to decide about where to put periods. It felt right -- hoping for a kind of halting quality. Hesitant?
And flat, but not so much as to make the reader give up.
I'm an ambitious dilettante.
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 2:33pm
You know, I actually thought about that, so read it aloud twice. There are places where it works, particularly in a spoken word piece.
Killer image, btw.
Killer image, btw.
1
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 1:53pm
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 3:03pm
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 2:06pm
Nicely written I know the feeling you've displayed and described here
I can relate deeply
Great piece!!🙌👏
I can relate deeply
Great piece!!🙌👏
0
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 3:05pm
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 2:51pm
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 3:08pm
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
6th Mar 2020 3:17pm
This one made my morning. Love the metaphor. No real critique to offer. I would love too hear this as spoken word
0
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
Thanks so much, Edward.
I've been thinking about posting some spoken efforts, but they seem to read better than they sound.
Got to practice.
I've been thinking about posting some spoken efforts, but they seem to read better than they sound.
Got to practice.
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
Anonymous
10th Mar 2020 1:03am
I enjoyed this poem immensely, especially the first stanza.
You know what I'll say about most of those "likes" .....
I also think the ending would do better trimmed and rearranged to something like so with some pauses for emphasis -
"I know I’m invisible because I know how it feels,
but then somebody looks in my direction
and there I am, plain as day.
What a worthless superpower.
It only works when nobody's looking!"
You know what I'll say about most of those "likes" .....
I also think the ending would do better trimmed and rearranged to something like so with some pauses for emphasis -
"I know I’m invisible because I know how it feels,
but then somebody looks in my direction
and there I am, plain as day.
What a worthless superpower.
It only works when nobody's looking!"
0
Re: Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
10th Mar 2020 4:31pm
Thanks as always, Johnny, for reading and commenting.
And critiquing.
And especially for enjoying the poem.
"Like" is a difficult habit.
Sometimes it seems to work. I do find myself looking for it in the poetry I read.
I really enjoy DUP. It's difficult to get feedback otherwise.
Thanks again.
And critiquing.
And especially for enjoying the poem.
"Like" is a difficult habit.
Sometimes it seems to work. I do find myself looking for it in the poetry I read.
I really enjoy DUP. It's difficult to get feedback otherwise.
Thanks again.
Re. Superpowers of the Avoidant Personality (For L.)
2nd Mar 2024 9:35am
Dear J,
Wow. Each stanza is a piece of perfection in focusing how small we can feel. I felt a kinship in each of them. The relationship between the shadow, the ghost and especially the fruit fly is great. I’ll think twice before I smoosh one ever again. This piece got me to thinking…when I’m feeling this way, is it because I’m choosing to feel this way? Or can I make some noise to be seen and heard? I can answer that with, “I’ll never find out. I’m not a noise maker” I find strange comfort in being the wall flower.
I’m so very glad you shared this poem with me. It made me think there’s a lot of fantastic flowers like me and I’m not the lone dandelion. Thank you. xx Amazing write. H🌷
Wow. Each stanza is a piece of perfection in focusing how small we can feel. I felt a kinship in each of them. The relationship between the shadow, the ghost and especially the fruit fly is great. I’ll think twice before I smoosh one ever again. This piece got me to thinking…when I’m feeling this way, is it because I’m choosing to feel this way? Or can I make some noise to be seen and heard? I can answer that with, “I’ll never find out. I’m not a noise maker” I find strange comfort in being the wall flower.
I’m so very glad you shared this poem with me. It made me think there’s a lot of fantastic flowers like me and I’m not the lone dandelion. Thank you. xx Amazing write. H🌷
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