That teen moment Pt.1

Hey mom and dad I have a date tonight.
Mom asking questions dad clearly up tight.
I say It’s fine, it's just a one time thing.
That quiet awkward pause as the phone rings.

Well who is it? Is it a boy or a girl? Mom asked.
I really don’t know I haven't seen them without a mask.
Dad coughs more cigar smoke with disagreement.
I smile and say anything can happen if you dream it!

Darting up the stairs ignoring the phone, it's not for me.
At a crossroads, bury my face in pillows or write poetry?
Ok pen, I'm here, write something, -sigh- this chair sucks.
A deeper thought feeling I am the only one to give a fuck…

It was her hazy thinking
From heavy drinking
She sputtered the word suicide.
Fast forward blinking
And more drinking.
That night she died of suicide.

Well I suppose that will do for now, something at least.
Can’t wait for that date and that beautiful release.
Face to pillows here I come to cry yet again.
Wishing for this life to hurry up and end.