deepundergroundpoetry.com
We Hold Poems
We hold poems
Like tiny hands,
Reaching up to pull God down,
One hand after the other,
Endlessly
Grasping,
Glorifying our existence
By shaming our downfall.
Yet, these hands do not see the hand that
Dismisses,
The hand that points outward within,
The hand whose mercy
Must be fear,
Putting us in our place
As definite and temporal,
As the scrubbers of his golden feet,
Shinier with each polishing.
Trembling before him
I tug at his robe
Begging him not to let me fall,
For surely at this height I will fall straight
Through.
Like tiny hands,
Reaching up to pull God down,
One hand after the other,
Endlessly
Grasping,
Glorifying our existence
By shaming our downfall.
Yet, these hands do not see the hand that
Dismisses,
The hand that points outward within,
The hand whose mercy
Must be fear,
Putting us in our place
As definite and temporal,
As the scrubbers of his golden feet,
Shinier with each polishing.
Trembling before him
I tug at his robe
Begging him not to let me fall,
For surely at this height I will fall straight
Through.
Published 15th Feb 2020
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th Feb 2020 3:43pm
It's a very nice poem, well expressed. Don't worry about falling; the Universe will catch you if you leap in faith.
In reference to your request for honest critique—
I feel many of the commas at line's end are unnecessary, as a natural pause is already present. A few semicolons, maybe an em dash or two would connect closely connected, thus creating a smoother flow of read.
In reference to your request for honest critique—
I feel many of the commas at line's end are unnecessary, as a natural pause is already present. A few semicolons, maybe an em dash or two would connect closely connected, thus creating a smoother flow of read.
