What's wrong with me?

I think I am broken  
Like maybe my mind is not what its supposed to be.
Everything hurts.  
I. Feel. Everything!...  
 
Emotions are like a hot knife. They slide in so easy...
And burn everything coming out...
 
I try so hard to not see the beauty or the pain.
I dont want to be moved to tears or joy.
It All Hurts, So Much.  
 
And I cant think straight...  
And then I hurt people.  
People that I love.
.........ihurtthem......  
 
Because EVERYTHING hurts so much.  
               ...................
 
I watched a movie today.  
It made me laugh;
 it made me cry;
And, afterwards,
I felt dead inside.
 
It killed me.  
Sucked the life right out of me.
I wasnt able to think.  
Everything was alive and moving ,
But I was dead.  
 
I heard them call my name...
But I was dead.
 
"Vickie", "Vickie"  
"Dont say that name stop saying my name  
I dont want to hear it anymore"  
"Vickie", "Vickie"  
"I'm changing my name and I'm not gonna tell to any of you what it is"  
"Vickie", "Vickie"  
"I would rather walk out side and blow my brains out right now, than to hear you say my name one more time...."  
 
I hurt the people I love.
 
 
I live inside my head.
And everyone outside feels like an interruption.  
 
I want so much to live life outside of myself...  
 
I dream of being a real person;  
Someone who can live and be loved.
 
But I Feel EVERYTHING!
      ..................And it all hurts..................
 
I cry when my kids cry.
And I feel what they feel; on top of what I feel.
 
Even joy and laughter, HURT.
I feel wounded when I'm done.
What felt so warm and sharply vivid,  
Feels raw and tender when it's over.
 
It's like I'm bleeding out.
 
I offten say that I hate everything.
And I do hate everything.  
Because it all hurts.
 
I want to be left alone, but then I FEEL so lonely.
                   ......................
There is no beauty in pain.
There isn't even beauty in beauty.
  
Everything is hollow.
 
Everything hurts.
 
There's something wrong with me.
 
I am broken.