deepundergroundpoetry.com
Final Opportunity
Final Opportunity
This guilt follows me continually,
like a never fading shadow cast over my reality,
making my soul feel like some kind of abnormality!
A reflection of my past personality.
It has left me with a reputation,
A reminder of my poor pedigree,
A complete lack of respect for the ones who love me dearly!
This is my final opportunity to love you respectfully,
build the trust that has left u feeling utterly empty.
The future can be ours for eternity,
today we start to rebuild, move forward.
Creating a fresh beginning, no begging,
Just a clear understanding of the relationship.
A relationship that was almost lost by me!
Haze January 2012
This guilt follows me continually,
like a never fading shadow cast over my reality,
making my soul feel like some kind of abnormality!
A reflection of my past personality.
It has left me with a reputation,
A reminder of my poor pedigree,
A complete lack of respect for the ones who love me dearly!
This is my final opportunity to love you respectfully,
build the trust that has left u feeling utterly empty.
The future can be ours for eternity,
today we start to rebuild, move forward.
Creating a fresh beginning, no begging,
Just a clear understanding of the relationship.
A relationship that was almost lost by me!
Haze January 2012
Published 3rd Jan 2012
| Edited 12th Jan 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 1
comments 5
reads 774
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Jan 2012 10:38pm
Im not really sure how I feel about your poem. To me it sounds like a rap, It flows nicely.
4th Jan 2012 4:11pm
Thanks for your comments, I watch a lot of spoken word poetry, completely understand what you mean. Didnt say whether you liked it or not lol
11th Jan 2012 10:19pm
H03:
Its nice but yes it does sound more of a rap. For this one in particular though i wouldve preferred to read downward instead of across. Apart from that its clear cut and straight forward.
[rubix]
Its nice but yes it does sound more of a rap. For this one in particular though i wouldve preferred to read downward instead of across. Apart from that its clear cut and straight forward.
[rubix]
12th Jan 2012 11:21am
Thank you for the feedback, its funny when you read it back there are so many little changes that can be made.
12th Jan 2012 5:00pm
Youre welcome and yes its true .. cant get worse only better. Always room for improvement.
Write'On
[Rubix]
Write'On
[Rubix]
