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The blues I knew
In the main parade
lounging on the bar with a dead beer
Heard strains from a small honky-tonk
Needin some more suthrn cheeer
The piano man he played
The ol blues in shades of grey
tun'es my granny sang
Pullin me to hum along
From hard work and pain
The blues down payment
Not content but lament
From blood and toil was it distilled
Dat coin dat paid the bill
Drums his foot while we all nod
The blues of street of dust and hot
Dat beaten fields of sweat
The shackled, servile just like dogs
Us smiled as one and sang to god
Inspiration "The Weary Blues"
lounging on the bar with a dead beer
Heard strains from a small honky-tonk
Needin some more suthrn cheeer
The piano man he played
The ol blues in shades of grey
tun'es my granny sang
Pullin me to hum along
From hard work and pain
The blues down payment
Not content but lament
From blood and toil was it distilled
Dat coin dat paid the bill
Drums his foot while we all nod
The blues of street of dust and hot
Dat beaten fields of sweat
The shackled, servile just like dogs
Us smiled as one and sang to god
Inspiration "The Weary Blues"
Published 5th Jan 2020
Author's Note
I tried to inflect some sothern drawl I am unsure of how the results turned out
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th Jan 2020 3:24pm
Slip, is the inspirational poem for this "The Weary Blues"? I am sure it is; however, don't forget to edit and include in your author's note. I've listened to plenty of Hughes, but others may have not. Also, because Webmiss has already created the LangstonHuges hashtag, you really don't need to include it in your title or at the end of your poem, as long as your themes list him ( which they do ).
You've done a bangup job with the imagery. The dialect does add some personality. Hughes had a monotone southern accent, yet, certain words are definitely a reflection of the drawl. When stressing the southern dialect especially, the syllables are very important. For example, sothern = suthun or sahthun. Downsouth 'o' took on a particular u or ah stress depending on the long or short vowel.
Those final two lines are fantastic. Simply fantastic.
You've done a bangup job with the imagery. The dialect does add some personality. Hughes had a monotone southern accent, yet, certain words are definitely a reflection of the drawl. When stressing the southern dialect especially, the syllables are very important. For example, sothern = suthun or sahthun. Downsouth 'o' took on a particular u or ah stress depending on the long or short vowel.
Those final two lines are fantastic. Simply fantastic.
Anonymous
6th Jan 2020 00:56am
Color me bluesed! A wonderful entry, Slip. Good luck in the challenge!
7th Jan 2020 4:26am
This is really great for it's southern drawl, it's a cool melange of rhyme and blues, good luck in the comp :)
7th Jan 2020 8:53am
Thanks P/R, a challenge for a BRIT like myself to write in his style and give it that authentic inflection without detracting from the piece.
A happy 2020 from yours truly
A happy 2020 from yours truly
