deepundergroundpoetry.com
the houses of none
electric monogamy listens to its blue-blooded mistresses
her heart is cult fiction
a menstruating moon over your artistry--
paints truth on the feminine cunt without famine
breath upon breath is taken
sweet sighs of the liturgy
until it is wrought in your kingdom
gaslighting an asylum can prove fatal
enter the cloistered convent
the covens offer a covenant
seducer of old is a woman
cold and calculated
ancient and beautiful
dutiful but sly
Mother nature is understood
sweet infamy betrays my manners
I sent out an echo
and was unsure when you whisper back
moonshine lusts betray me
inside the warmth of the nine houses
I have amnesia
wake me up gently when you get here
Published 29th Dec 2019
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likes 8
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The author encourages honest critique.
29th Dec 2019 4:30am
I will call you awake with a whisper stolen from an ancient wind.
Good write crimsin.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
Good write crimsin.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
Anonymous
- Edited 6th Jan 2020 5:45pm
29th Dec 2019 6:24am
<< post removed >>
29th Dec 2019 12:12pm
Dear B,
Captivating write!
“seducer of old is a woman
cold and calculated
ancient and beautiful
dutiful but sly ” I thought this stanza was wonderful in its oppositions. I kind of want to be this person, I won’t I’m not that energetic but I wouldn’t mind trying for a day...maybe just an hour. Eh, excellent write aside from my wishful ramblings. H🌷
Captivating write!
“seducer of old is a woman
cold and calculated
ancient and beautiful
dutiful but sly ” I thought this stanza was wonderful in its oppositions. I kind of want to be this person, I won’t I’m not that energetic but I wouldn’t mind trying for a day...maybe just an hour. Eh, excellent write aside from my wishful ramblings. H🌷
29th Dec 2019 1:01pm
29th Dec 2019 3:33pm
The language in this is beautiful, Brenda. Some of the vocabulary divine. There is only one place I faltered when reading:
and was unsure when you whisper back
Should you be you'd whisper back? If so you really don't need 'when' in that line. You could say
and was unsure you would whisper back
to add some alliteration to the w throughout the line.
and was unsure when you whisper back
Should you be you'd whisper back? If so you really don't need 'when' in that line. You could say
and was unsure you would whisper back
to add some alliteration to the w throughout the line.
31st Dec 2019 2:35am
Each stanza is quite potent, impactful, your voice has a cutting edge. The metaphors are creative, intriguing. Terrific work Brenda.
