Invisible

I wear this cloak of invisibility that hides all of the cracks and missing pieces I have acquired along the way
I have dropped pieces and left them with people who do not deserve to have them
I have cuts and bruises mapped out across my body from battles that have shifted my personality
And I am broken from disappointment and unrequited love
Sometimes I am convinced that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, no silver lining, no play book to tell me what to do next
I let everything consume me, infect my head and change the way I think, I become overly invested and rely on other people for any small amount of happiness,
Although I know No one can ever truly make me happy if I am not first happy by myself
But when I am by myself my mind wanders to dark places
Creating terrifying images that are drawn from even more Terrifying memories
I choose not to remember, drown out the pain with anything that allows me to feel numb long enough to get through the day
Finding new ways to cope, I'm good at it
Good at pretending my whole world is not collapsing around me
Pretending that I do not feel trapped inside my own head, my own body
Good at pretending that I am okay
But honestly I am not okay
I am dying , in a crowded room but not one can hear my cries for help
I am helpless, I know what the problem is
But I have no idea how to fix it