Chronicle of Chronic (easy version)**

To: Leah, Eric, Mary, and EW
** currently not available for WorldWide distribution
 
 
suckt-out of love and any potential to not feel so
unclose               to any-one, any-body,
                             to    any thing worth living for, (other than these
                    idiotic trophies, won in what now seems a  
              fake glory days, scraping and bowing for another "story"
            written, another photo-op, for the local diddle-poop newspaper,
        another radio show, ("deep jazz for an undeep, prairie populace"),
and the opportunity to show/blow my soul-breath thru those great, brass sax'horns.............Leah & Eric & Mary were there, EW was there. Dad, bro Phil, & Carter. so many friends saying how
fucking great i was for being the driving-force for the concerts, the festivals, the heart-attacks, the by-passes, the "miracle" recovery.
Now,
it's all just funny folly compared to the indignation of Now brought about by a foul heart heredity, & not a hint of a so'called Life-Partner since EW flew into insanity, (nearly 2 decades ago)......& i suppose, trying to "do it differently" with a mindful compassion & kindness, woefully absent in other such "ventures".
Now,
even Leah departed this earth so young as to "really" show what insane relentless grief, sorrow, psychic collapse, & Pain of Soul is "really" all about.
Now,  
life is rather raw, rather foul, with a stream of "practitioners" telling me How Much there is to live for in this chronically fatigued, cardiac Grand Gignol, And i step along, dragging my overfed corpse from office to office, hospital to hospital, just out of curiosity as to "how much" worldly
Survival, (so well commoditized),  may be worth  
                                                                             in
                                                                        dollars
                                                                          and
                                                                        sense.
 
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaA
2019dankozakPoom+FotoSaleSpecialEverythingMustGo!