evensong

Riding a wave of emotion this conveys the deep vulnerability and raw heartache for a pure love lost, and the never ending struggle of pushing those who are closest away. Oftentimes we feel undeserving or suspicious of a love so gratifying.

Beautiful writing... you really painted heartache here, and the juxtaposition was its dark airiness, not heaviness. Beautiful.

i can relate to this piece on so many levels i use to be one of those who use to push folks away from me, only to realize i was only hurting myself the most thats what distrust does to the heart it kills the beauty of love making it dark...nicely composed

This is the epitome of "Hurt people hurt people", Brenda.  It's a very raw self-profession which begs the reader examine all relationships.  There was a movie once, it showed a women stroking a cat - the story she explained to someone was this:

This cat seems tame to you, doesn't it? Loving. Submissive. But what if I told you that I rescued it from an alley being abused by a group of boys?  That it took months before it would trust me to touch it, much less hold it.  And even now, something will trigger its painful memories, so it lashes out; bites me; scratches me.  But, I understand it's coming from a place of pain, somewhere deep where a defense mechanism kicks in.  

That is you.  And those who love you understand.  They allow you to choose when to be loved - and when to be left alone.  Not to be confused with not being surrounded by love at all.  You are, constantly, whenever you're ready to reach out. <3

It breaks my heart when you write these apologies. Anyone who knows you, knows you're more than darkness. You are crammed with love & light the same. I worked animal rescue, so the above words ring very true. Usually the ones with trust issues , loved the hardest!  
 
Love you, buttercup!🍃🌹❤

I will forever see the light inside of you, even if I need to walk through the darkness to find it. Love you precious lady. I love this,  yet I dont. <3