deepundergroundpoetry.com
Chain Stokes
I saw her fall
First the halo
then the wings grew
heavy
Now
she lays upon the floor,
scarcely
breathing
She still
...sometimes
feels
her halo
....the memory
imprinted
in her hair
First the halo
then the wings grew
heavy
Now
she lays upon the floor,
scarcely
breathing
She still
...sometimes
feels
her halo
....the memory
imprinted
in her hair
Published 2nd Nov 2019
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likes 2
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comments 7
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 3rd Dec 2019 3:45pm
2nd Nov 2019 7:35pm
<< post removed >>
Cool! Thanks for the feedback! That's exactly the emotion behind the metaphor.
Looks like ive made a new friend! I'll follow you. I love making friends here. Cool peeps, you poets!
Looks like ive made a new friend! I'll follow you. I love making friends here. Cool peeps, you poets!
2nd Nov 2019 8:29pm
Anonymous
- Edited 3rd Dec 2019 3:45pm
2nd Nov 2019 8:44pm
<< post removed >>
5th Nov 2019 6:45am
Brava, EW! The imagery is heartbreakingly vivid. I love the "imprint on her hair" passage...Last vestige of a charmed life but also a place left to fit that halo anew.
5th Nov 2019 9:03am
Thank you, GW!
I like to think of it that way, too. I'm pretty sure the halo will be a big, central part of the novel plot.
I like to think of it that way, too. I'm pretty sure the halo will be a big, central part of the novel plot.
5th Nov 2019 1:33pm
