deepundergroundpoetry.com
when i see
an unforgiving soul
i see more than just
an unjust and a narcissistic
human
i see
a lost one
lost not only
of way home
but also one
that is now a captive
of war
the war no one saw
when the dominant
of the internal fraternal twins
that are the conscience and ego
crushed the other
into little more
than a vegetable state
the latter landing blows
at the feeblest
of sniveling
a sad story walking
a pretty
manicured and landscaped graveyard
i see more than just
an unjust and a narcissistic
human
i see
a lost one
lost not only
of way home
but also one
that is now a captive
of war
the war no one saw
when the dominant
of the internal fraternal twins
that are the conscience and ego
crushed the other
into little more
than a vegetable state
the latter landing blows
at the feeblest
of sniveling
a sad story walking
a pretty
manicured and landscaped graveyard
Author's Note
time heals not the dead of the conscience. deny one, deny all ..deny the universe but you ain't running away not even after the death of your conscience..for it will haunt you when you feel the safest.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 7
comments 15
reads 648
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 11:24am
There is no hiding from ones self
ego that shallow thing is only a mask to cover the fear. Good ink 👍
ego that shallow thing is only a mask to cover the fear. Good ink 👍
1
Re: Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 11:33am
welcome your presence dear Friend!
you've put it better than i could ever have...
indeed, no hiding from one's self
you've put it better than i could ever have...
indeed, no hiding from one's self
Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 12:41pm
ONE CAN NOT HIDE WHAT HAS BEEN FORESEEN FOR TIME WAITS FOR KNOWONE FOR WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND AS THIS IS THE CYCLE OF REAL LIFE...NICELY COMPOSED MY FRIEND
1
Re: Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 12:54pm
welcome
dear friend. yes, one cannot hide,
i appreciate your presence and wisdom
on my scribble dear Friend
dear friend. yes, one cannot hide,
i appreciate your presence and wisdom
on my scribble dear Friend
Re: Re. when i see
12th Oct 2019 1:36pm
YOU ARE WELCOME I JUST LOVE IT WHEN A PIECE OPENS MY INNER MIND WHEN SOMEONE WRITES A PIECE FROM THE MIND AND DEEPNESS OF ONES SOUL ITS LIKE PEELING BACK LAYERS OF THOUGHTS UNSPOKEN...RESPECT MY FRIEND
0
Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 2:31pm
wow dearest Cold One this is heavy duty stuff
powerful inking my friend...
love Brenda 💕
powerful inking my friend...
love Brenda 💕
1
Re: Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 2:44pm
😊
welcome dear Brenda!
dearest Friend you are too generous. honoring my letting off steam with your
compliment and listing. Appreciate Both You and your contribution in doing all you can in your own way a beautiful place. not missed on me. Thank You..beyond words!
welcome dear Brenda!
dearest Friend you are too generous. honoring my letting off steam with your
compliment and listing. Appreciate Both You and your contribution in doing all you can in your own way a beautiful place. not missed on me. Thank You..beyond words!
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Feb 2020 10:45am
11th Oct 2019 3:31pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 3:35pm
welcome
dear poet
firstly to the community that is DU
as well as to this scribble
appreciate your insight and kind compliments
beyond words
dear poet
firstly to the community that is DU
as well as to this scribble
appreciate your insight and kind compliments
beyond words
Re. when i see
When ego and conscience are out of sync ...the imbalance...
...our detriment.
fuze...you are an inspiration...hugs... Ely
...our detriment.
fuze...you are an inspiration...hugs... Ely
1
Re: Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 3:38pm
Awwe! you humbled me beyond words Ely!!
hugs back!
and how many countless occasions you inspire us with your fearless and wisdom laced gems.
beyond words
the appreciation
of your presence and kindness
hugs back!
and how many countless occasions you inspire us with your fearless and wisdom laced gems.
beyond words
the appreciation
of your presence and kindness
Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 7:00pm
A fantastic poem, there certainly is a darkness in this piece. Love it.
1
Re: Re. when i see
11th Oct 2019 7:09pm
welcome dear brother Anon!
appreciate your presence and support. always.
beyond words.
appreciate your presence and support. always.
beyond words.
Re. when i see
12th Oct 2019 3:09pm
Totally agree with the premise of this piece, I especially liked the metaphorically described last stanza;
"a sad story walking
a pretty
manicured and landscaped graveyard"
There is the old saying; "you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar", which when dealing with someone's ego, is something one should always keep in mind, for there is also the reality that "shit attracts flies."
It has been my experience that if the fly you're attempting to attract is reeling in an ego, use the honey, for it's nourishing sweetness may just ooze into the smallest of cracks, where as spreading shit on the surface only raises a stink.
When I see the latter being applied, I am given to think there are two egos at war here.
Sorry, my brother, I just could not 'check-up' my own ego here when the opportunity arose. :-))
"a sad story walking
a pretty
manicured and landscaped graveyard"
There is the old saying; "you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar", which when dealing with someone's ego, is something one should always keep in mind, for there is also the reality that "shit attracts flies."
It has been my experience that if the fly you're attempting to attract is reeling in an ego, use the honey, for it's nourishing sweetness may just ooze into the smallest of cracks, where as spreading shit on the surface only raises a stink.
When I see the latter being applied, I am given to think there are two egos at war here.
Sorry, my brother, I just could not 'check-up' my own ego here when the opportunity arose. :-))
1
Re. when i see
13th Oct 2019 11:42pm
As Sartre said...you can lie to others but you can never lie to yourself. I love this ink CF...powerful on so many levels.
Cheers...Harry
Cheers...Harry
1