deepundergroundpoetry.com
Long Exhale on a Cloud
the tightness settles into my eyes
gauzy, jewel-toned shades
float down to cover my mind
satin pillows under my head
chest expands to blow
the sultry, ancient incense
from my torched, heavy breath
my hazy soul sighs
long exhale on a cloud
all my pieces draw inward
naked and exposed fully,
my critical eye softens
I see beauty in the rolling landscape;
scars create striking topography,
pleading with desire
for your curious explorations,
the ones I shied away from
when last you dared to wander,
your fingers leaving
the safety of the markers
clearly laid along the path
surrounded by the lush kingdom,
my fantasy conquered
I dive from the platform
built of crushing expectations;
responsibility that feels
so much like
an anchor to a time and place
I never meant to stay
my soul was made to soar
and ever since I was confined,
caged with the finest shackles
I can’t seem
to get my wings to remember
how to fly,
so I plummet instead
the cold of the deep
startling my chest
momentary panic
I’m in too deep
it’s way too fast;
no going back now
stretching my limbs,
I swim downward
into the dark
where all my beasties play
I have no fear of them here
after all, aren’t the lot of us
just misunderstood monsters?
I belong to them
their devotion to me complete
allowed to be my whole self
in this blank space,
all of these ominous shapes
are my most intimate partners;
they will bare their teeth
and nip my skin,
bringing blood to the water
until I’m surrounded
by my own horror
but I will calm them,
once again
with my practiced, healing hands -
light forged of sharp, shiny trauma
melted into the dull bone-ache
of the social awkward’s fallout
the metallic tang of active contrition,
and so much tailspinning
my fingertips glide slowly
along their slimy sides
and when they have been soothed,
my magnificent leviathans
retreat slowly downward
to the abyss -
a place I can’t follow;
(not after that one time)
I was nearly consumed
staring after them,
suspended between
sun-dappled waves
and icy cold midnight,
I wait in limbo
until I can’t see their shadows
before heading back
to my sun-drenched palace
to play
gauzy, jewel-toned shades
float down to cover my mind
satin pillows under my head
chest expands to blow
the sultry, ancient incense
from my torched, heavy breath
my hazy soul sighs
long exhale on a cloud
all my pieces draw inward
naked and exposed fully,
my critical eye softens
I see beauty in the rolling landscape;
scars create striking topography,
pleading with desire
for your curious explorations,
the ones I shied away from
when last you dared to wander,
your fingers leaving
the safety of the markers
clearly laid along the path
surrounded by the lush kingdom,
my fantasy conquered
I dive from the platform
built of crushing expectations;
responsibility that feels
so much like
an anchor to a time and place
I never meant to stay
my soul was made to soar
and ever since I was confined,
caged with the finest shackles
I can’t seem
to get my wings to remember
how to fly,
so I plummet instead
the cold of the deep
startling my chest
momentary panic
I’m in too deep
it’s way too fast;
no going back now
stretching my limbs,
I swim downward
into the dark
where all my beasties play
I have no fear of them here
after all, aren’t the lot of us
just misunderstood monsters?
I belong to them
their devotion to me complete
allowed to be my whole self
in this blank space,
all of these ominous shapes
are my most intimate partners;
they will bare their teeth
and nip my skin,
bringing blood to the water
until I’m surrounded
by my own horror
but I will calm them,
once again
with my practiced, healing hands -
light forged of sharp, shiny trauma
melted into the dull bone-ache
of the social awkward’s fallout
the metallic tang of active contrition,
and so much tailspinning
my fingertips glide slowly
along their slimy sides
and when they have been soothed,
my magnificent leviathans
retreat slowly downward
to the abyss -
a place I can’t follow;
(not after that one time)
I was nearly consumed
staring after them,
suspended between
sun-dappled waves
and icy cold midnight,
I wait in limbo
until I can’t see their shadows
before heading back
to my sun-drenched palace
to play
Published 22nd Sep 2019
| Edited 7th Oct 2019
Author's Note
Inspired by conversation with a friend.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 4
comments 16
reads 509
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Sep 2019 5:59am
F***. I felt the raise up and like a touch of euphoria, then i see the beauty of your mind getting into your words, like having fun with truth, and it plunged into deep dark thoughts that tried to level out.
You can feel the weight you carry in this piece. And how you do it in subtleties.
You make brief loud looks that simmer into the nonchalant. and i just want to say, i see them.
You can feel the weight you carry in this piece. And how you do it in subtleties.
You make brief loud looks that simmer into the nonchalant. and i just want to say, i see them.
22nd Sep 2019 6:04am
It’s an amazing thing to be seen and heard and you’ve managed to make me feel both.
Thank you, Love ♥️.
Thank you, Love ♥️.
22nd Sep 2019 12:01pm
22nd Sep 2019 2:26pm
22nd Sep 2019 7:15pm
Terrifically engaging technique from the opening. The slow, unhurried detail. That is the mark of long acquaintance with the quill. The way you make the environment tangible, part of yourself. The continuous, first person narrative, it's focused and carries subtle force, in that vein. Closing stanza unfolds with beautiful candor. Your write held my eyes like hands.
23rd Sep 2019 3:42pm
You have poetic voice, even in your feedback, Daniel. I’m so glad this one caught your eye. Thank you for the RL and the kindness; both are appreciated 💜.
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Oct 2019 5:45am
23rd Sep 2019 8:19pm
<< post removed >>
23rd Sep 2019 10:09pm
You always manage to help me see my words in a new way; from a deeper vantage point than I previously considered. I appreciate you, HF 💜
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Oct 2019 5:45am
23rd Sep 2019 10:39pm
<< post removed >>
23rd Sep 2019 10:48pm
Nooo, I meant it to read you absolutely did nail it. I usually vomit my words and then I am so busy trying to arrange them according to my synesthesia while hoping they still convey the message, that I often get lost in layers within the message. It takes me reading and re-reading it to extract all the ways I truly meant the words - the obvious as well as the hidden. You come along and make it easier - I’m over here nodding in agreement as I read your comments. So I apologize if I miscommunicated. I’m still finding my way out of the shadows and am still struggling to do much more than the word-vomit-and-hopeful-arrangement thing at the moment 💜.
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Oct 2019 5:45am
23rd Sep 2019 11:15pm
<< post removed >>
28th Oct 2019 1:27am
Why do you suppose vulnerability always triggers tingling from extinct emotions? Hard not to feel the reeling when those gates open on their own
I think triggers are buried fears and we attempt to tiptoe around them, but it’s inevitable we have a misstep. I think missteps happen when we aren’t paying attention or are otherwise caught off guard; triggers encourage knee-jerk reaction, in my experience.
Thank you for your thoughts 💜
Thank you for your thoughts 💜
11th Jan 2020 10:02pm
Sounds like the dreams my occasional passing clouds tell me.... I have my "poison", legal, at least where I live.... 😇🤗🌬💨
1st Feb 2024 00:01am
Good Evening LunaGreyHawk. I noticed you've been with DUP for a while, so I decided to read and comment on your 1st poem here. This is a fantastic. A beautiful, dark composition about anxiety. Your words flow beautifully.
2nd Feb 2024 6:25pm
