deepundergroundpoetry.com
Love Amiss
I miss your arms linked ‘round my neck,
A talisman that brought me luck
With cotton textile body checks,
To topple, tumbling, run amuck.
For years, my Love, and evermore,
Like typeset of the daily news
Recalled what feelings were meant for,
When tavern coffee had its muse.
The roofing thatch o’er when it rained
Had leaked before, but never this.
The rings of darkened ceiling stains
That verified what went amiss.
For days, no twinkle in my eyes,
I had no answers, so I guessed.
From the rest, a tIssue of lies,
But not from you, Love, don’t transgress.
Written by
Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
Published 18th Sep 2019
Author's Note
Love, for the Letter “T”.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 2
comments 19
reads 626
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Love Amiss
18th Sep 2019 7:26pm
Re: Re. Love Amiss
18th Sep 2019 8:39pm
Re. Love Amiss
18th Sep 2019 10:22pm
Wonderful loving spill, Beautiful Sister
the read created an air of breathe deeply and basking in the aura of mushy love
the read created an air of breathe deeply and basking in the aura of mushy love
1
Re: Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 2:41am
Aah dear Brother T, give me mushy love every time, heehee!😍 Always lovely to see you, thanks so much.
🐾
🐾
Re. Love Amiss
18th Sep 2019 10:27pm
Re: Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 2:44am
That’s nice of you to say, AB, and thank you for stopping by for a read.
🐾
🐾
Re. Love Amiss
18th Sep 2019 10:29pm
Really lovely, rendered with your signature elegance and measure. <3
1
Re: Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 2:48am
Re. Love Amiss
18th Sep 2019 11:38pm
A better poet than I...which really encompasses just about everybody, but meant as a compliment all the same.
I wonder, do you ever write without the constraint of letter and form, meter and rhyme and just for the flow? Just a random question from a simple mind.
I wonder, do you ever write without the constraint of letter and form, meter and rhyme and just for the flow? Just a random question from a simple mind.
1
Re: Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 3:55am
Hi Joe! Aaw now don’t be down on yourself. I’m a pen-pusher who’s been writing since I was a kid.
I most definitely write in free flowing free verse, as well as Japanese short form poetry. Just check some of my latest writing and you’ll find an eclectic assortent of poetic structure & genre.
And my thanks for your visit.
🐾
I most definitely write in free flowing free verse, as well as Japanese short form poetry. Just check some of my latest writing and you’ll find an eclectic assortent of poetic structure & genre.
And my thanks for your visit.
🐾
Re: Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 8:52pm
Don't worry about me, I'm playing happily in my corner of the sandbox. I just like to give myself a hard time to keep my bobble head on straight.
1
Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 3:19am
Re: Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 3:38am
Re. Love Amiss
19th Sep 2019 4:56am
Dear J-P,
Another knockout piece. It reads beautifully. I feel like if I tried this I would have only come up with a theme about “t”ootsie rolls. 🙄
Really lovely. H🌷
Another knockout piece. It reads beautifully. I feel like if I tried this I would have only come up with a theme about “t”ootsie rolls. 🙄
Really lovely. H🌷
1
Re: Re. Love Amiss
Why thank you, sister H, I appreciate your words humbly. However, might it cross your mind that this stressed-out world is in need of a definitive poem about the Tootsie-roll? You might be just the one to do it! The oceans are half full on this, woman... strike now while the O’Henry is neigh!
Jade🐾
Jade🐾
Re. Love Amiss
24th Sep 2019 1:32pm
I'm always in slight awe of easy flowing and natural rhyme and rhythm (especially rhyme) - and the flowing rhyme and rhythm are just that here.
Nice use of the word list - none seem forced, they all fit naturally.
Especially enjoyed "to topple, tumbling, run amuck) ... cos I'm a fan of good alliteration.
Yes ... even if I don't quite comprehend the poem (poem comprehension is something that I struggle with) , it's a write that pleases, teases and makes me think.
SeaCat
Nice use of the word list - none seem forced, they all fit naturally.
Especially enjoyed "to topple, tumbling, run amuck) ... cos I'm a fan of good alliteration.
Yes ... even if I don't quite comprehend the poem (poem comprehension is something that I struggle with) , it's a write that pleases, teases and makes me think.
SeaCat
1
Re: Re. Love Amiss
24th Sep 2019 1:40pm
Gosh, thank you, SeaCat - what wonderful appreciation & attitude your comment has. I’m glad to see you visit me.
Re. Love Amiss
24th Sep 2019 8:13pm
Your form is so beautiful. It drew me in so. Amazing!
P.s. I had to read it a few times it was just that good, and each time I received something more.
P.s. I had to read it a few times it was just that good, and each time I received something more.
1
Re: Re. Love Amiss
25th Sep 2019 3:03am
Why thank you so much, dear sister of the Pen, I’m so glad to have you here visiting for a read - and more than one reading!
What I appreciate is how you got more from the poem with each re-reading. Thank you for sharing.
Jade🐾
What I appreciate is how you got more from the poem with each re-reading. Thank you for sharing.
Jade🐾