Getting Old Has Some Positives 7.0

(i) Memory

The benefit of old age
is that you can pretend
to have forgotten
something you remember
in finite detail
and people will accept
and believe you

(ii) Carry-On

old age
mean never having
to carry anything heavy
ever
again

(iii) Party

being old you can
get out of any
social or family
gathering by simply
faining tiredness
regardless of what
time it is

(iv) Not A Word!

when you are old
you can be a
politically incorrect
bigoted, homophobic,
racist, misogynist.
spitting, cussing
cantankerous old
bastard and people
make excuses
for you

(v) Game

here is a fun game
when family come to visit
pretend you don't know
who they are at all
tell them you are not
my children
and you remember them
as much better looking
and all bald
even the women

(vi) Fashionable

wear a tinfoil hat
and a pink to-to
to collect your
grandchildren from
school
no one will bat an eye
apart from their friends

(vii) Getting Help

Take your dick out
on public transport
there is always a
helpful woman
gonna assist you
to tuck it back in