All I see is darkness

All I see is darkness
There’s darkness everywhere
I cant see the light
And no one seems to care
The times are getting tougher
And I’m just getting worse
The meds are just a buffer
To stop any violent thoughts
So I hide under the cover
Under the cover of the mask
So no one can see the darkness of my past

All I see is darkness
No one is around
I call, I yell, I scream
But no one makes a sound
I just want to give up
There’s nothing for me here
And since there is no light
All I feel is fear
The feelings are forced to go away
Until I’m just so numb
The only thing that brings them back
Is remembering what I have done
 
All I see is darkness
There’s no light anymore
Maybe when I was younger
But that’s when I was four
There are no happy trails
No parties made with glee
Not one single birthday party
When I was as happy as can be
The memories are stored
Deep inside a well
I hope they don’t come back up
With that silver pale
Bringing up bad memories is all I seem to know
 
All I see is darkness
There’s nothing left to do
Besides being quiet and letting my feelings brew
Isolation is now my home
And darkness is now my room
I’m done and giving up
I think I’m dying soon
I just hope the darkness stays away
From my friends whom I adore
Cause all they see is light coming out of the door

All they see is light from me
They say it shines so bright
But how do I begin to tell
That the darkness is my light
The once happy smile that lit my face
Has moved away from its place
My eyes once shining with love and light
choose to leave at night and never came back
The warm and comforting embrace they came to love
Has always been a cold stone stare from above
They don’t know what to think
And I don’t know how to say
All I see is darkness
And soon you too will see it one day

All I feel is hurt
The pain from below
The agony is unbearable
Soon it comes to blows
It rises up like the Phoenix
From the ashes of the urn
Drowning out the sounds
Of what I had to learn
To survive was an instinct
To live fearfully is how it’s played
By some crazy genius
Life is a difficult game
It’s complex and it’s hurtful
No love or adoration found
Soon enough I learned
That they were clowning around
No one really loves
And they didn’t care
The scars on the thighs
The blood coming from everywhere
The thirst for vengeance was easily controlled
My thoughts easily subdued
For I had no idea
I was still in love with you
You took, I gave
You hurt me, I didn’t seem to mind
Because my love was blind
No matter what you did
No matter what you said
I stood right by your side
Even after death
Love is a cruel game
For I didn’t know the rules
I never thought my love for you could destroy my happy place
So I began to build anew
Until I saw your face
Your smile so bright
Your eyes so dark
My gut said no
But I listened to my heart
I was a fool
And still am to this day
My body and mind destroyed
And there’s nothing left to say
Goodbye cruel world I wish you well
For these are my last words
For if I had never driven you home that day
I’d be alive and well