Straight Thinking?

I tried so fucking hard to be linear
As though by being linear, everything would make sense
It didn’t

My mind an ocean of hidden depths
Of secret pathways and cordoned off caves
No one knows when the seamounts will erupt
Until fire and ice spew forth their venom

There’s a maze with no beginning
There’s a road with no end
It is and always was
Ominous words remembered
“Seek and ye shall find”

Time bends and folds in on itself
In memories, in photos of that which passes
Then, now and next bleed together
One word, one thought, a chain within a chain

I failed so epically at the idea of sense
As though sense was an end within itself
It wasn’t

There is a fork in the road
That can never be traced back
Once one steps over that threshold
Into and onto a path yet untraveled

I breathe the air, full of sea
Full of seeing and unseeing sight
It is not the days that haunt me
But my nightly subconscious wanderings
Into a world that could be, if only…

I tried so hard to merely exist in non-existence
The moments, one after another, lost and over
Before they reached tangibility  
And fantasy remained true to itself in fiction

I aimed for linear thought with singular determination  
As though through it I could formulate this dream illusion
Into a reality that wasn’t

© Indie Adams 2011