Accepting the minimum

Maybe I accepted the breadcrumbs    
Maybe I knew there was poison and maybe I took them because I wanted anything to fill me and maybe it was good enough  
maybe, maybe I convinced myself that it was,  
mainly because so badly I needed it to be I didn’t just want it to be    
   
but I really really needed it to be enough    
   
I can’t blame you for that    
   
I can’t really blame anyone but myself    
maybe I’m what’s toxic    
what if    
You know what if I was the one that poisoned myself and I’m blaming you    
   
am I blaming everyone besides myself    
   
Why is it so hard to tell?