Stages Of Grief

SHOCK AND DENIAL:  
 
Liar! I scream out in a daze of disbelief  
Too much grief  
With no relief  
Steals my soul like a thief  
 
How could you say such a lie  
No time for bye  
Why can't I cry  
Not even a sigh  
 
Your lies, they won't be bought  
My stomach's in a knot  
I feel like I've been shot  
I won't accept your stupid plot  
 
PAIN AND GUILT:  
 
So many words, left unsaid  
Spiraling around in my head  
As heavy as lead  
No where for them to spread  
 
The anguish is unmanageable  
My lacks unforgivable  
Future not foreseeable  
I'm no better than a criminal  
 
Never will. Never again,  
These words hold too much pain  
My breath I cannot gain  
I feel like I've been slain  
 
ANGER AND BARGAINING:  
 
Please come back, I'll make it right  
I promise we'll never fight  
I'll do whatever, I've seen the light  
It's been written in black and white  
 
How could you leave me like this  
Left behind to reminisce  
Wrath I feel with a hiss  
Never again to feel any bliss  
 
Don't let this be true I say with prayer  
This is too much for me to bare  
I scream at the sky with a glare  
It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair  
 
DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS:  
 
You're gone for good, I feel such sorrow  
Endless darkness, every tomorrow  
This is too much for me to swallow  
Because of this, my chest is hollow  
 
The things we did, I miss so great  
I can not stand to live this fate  
It's too heavy, too much weight  
Please God, please God, clean my slate  
 
I don't know who I am without you near  
The vision of my future so unclear  
I needed you here to help me steer  
Now we're separated, I have great fear  
 
THE ADJUSTMENT:  
 
Life moved on, though I begged it not  
The pain a fire, still so hot  
I made decisions, I gave it a shot  
I spread your ashes in your favorite spot  
 
The birds still chirp, the world will turn  
The ache in me will forever burn  
For you I will continue to yearn  
To live again, I am trying to learn  
 
I still forget, I try to call  
There's no answer, I feel so small  
I have hit the bottom, no where to fall  
I sit in my grief and start to bawl  
 
RECONSTRUCTION:  
 
Much time has passed, I picked up the pieces  
Though less than it was, the pain never ceases  
The agony is there, it stays in the creases  
My heart begs, but it never releases  
 
They say that time heals all the pain  
What do these liars have to gain  
Don't come at me with this campaign  
Please don't make me try and explain  
 
Today I was able to go through your things  
Much sadness and joy all of this brings  
Old photo's of us forever stings  
I am glad we could capture all of our flings  
 
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE:  
 
These past few days, I have found my smile  
I have not done this in a while  
I have come far on this long mile  
From when I had feelings that were so vile  
 
I'll be okay, I am now a believer  
I'm no longer grasping that cleaver  
Words of kindness, I am a receiver  
With open arms, an over achiever  
 
I learned from you, how to be strong  
To stay broken, would have done you wrong  
Though my grief for you is life long  
I will go on to preach your wonderful song

© Rachel Orrick