Risky Altercations/Alterations

Choking through the thought process
explaining as best I could
even if I don't understand

I expected the reaction
to be hostile,
and it took courage
to disappoint you in such matters

You rescued me
from the other woman,
nursed the wounds
and gave me more
than I could ever fathom

And I am so frightened
to see those similar gestures
-those that foreshadowed
that unexpected demise

I want the quick fix
I want to be your obsession again
and I am willing to face the past
even if every meme suggests
to leave it where it is

That unsettled feeling subsided,
letting you in on my secret
daring the honesty
to spill from my lips

One final act remains
to face the perpetrator
that altered this open heart

I am giving up on pride
and taking a chance on forgiveness

There is no guarantee
that any clue
will shade this present
with a remedy

Perhaps it is selfish
to absolve myself
from those who no longer matter

But the subtle infestation
will keep breeding
if I don't extinguish
the plague of some memories.