deepundergroundpoetry.com
how do i remember if i've done this before
the boy is a white noise machine
and i will not need him
in the way that this past five years
i have
imagine me unhappy
or
imagine me guileless
i am not both
pretend i am unscathed
even as time
turns backwards
on my scars
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likes 10
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comments 17
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Oct 2019 5:45am
17th Jul 2019 10:00pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
17th Jul 2019 10:10pm
Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
I am sure this is marked for friendly feedback because there is absolutely nothing to honestly critique ( imho anyway ). Seriously. The form, extended spaces ( which denote a struggling of sorts ), vocabulary choices and metaphors are all stellar. Hopefully there is another book in the making. That final line is a rock-solid finish.
1
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
17th Jul 2019 11:25pm
the less you say the less can possibly be wrong with it, maybe.
it is marked friendly feedback because i am exclusively looking for validation and distraction despite not being able to write a whole uh big lot
so thank you
it is marked friendly feedback because i am exclusively looking for validation and distraction despite not being able to write a whole uh big lot
so thank you
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
17th Jul 2019 11:26pm
Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 1:07am
white noise machine, ouch. what a dig. I'd fkn hate to be one of those.
friendly feedback--you're amazing, Anna. this poem is digital magic. can I get a signed copy?
hope you're sleeping and drinking plenty (of water).
so is it guileless or unhappy?
friendly feedback--you're amazing, Anna. this poem is digital magic. can I get a signed copy?
hope you're sleeping and drinking plenty (of water).
so is it guileless or unhappy?
1
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 9:30am
Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
Anonymous
18th Jul 2019 2:58am
Be strong.
You’re loved and admired so much. 👌🏻
You’re loved and admired so much. 👌🏻
1
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 9:57pm
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
Anonymous
18th Jul 2019 10:31pm
You’re welcome, beautiful.
0
Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 11:33am
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 9:58pm
Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 1:24pm
The glass is neither half empty nor half full —it’s refillable....
And you get to choose how and what you want to top it off, with.
“Change” can be a friend, and so are all of us—you’re never fully alone with a bunch of Deep Undergrounders on your side.
💜
And you get to choose how and what you want to top it off, with.
“Change” can be a friend, and so are all of us—you’re never fully alone with a bunch of Deep Undergrounders on your side.
💜
1
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 10:05pm
lets hope so: let's hope so. either way it is something.
you warm my teeny tiny, cold, crippled heart, thank you xxx
you warm my teeny tiny, cold, crippled heart, thank you xxx
Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 2:02pm
"pretend i am unscathed
even as time
turns backwards
on my scars"
damn it beautiful Anna
I feel you here...
love Brenda ❤
even as time
turns backwards
on my scars"
damn it beautiful Anna
I feel you here...
love Brenda ❤
1
Re: Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
18th Jul 2019 10:08pm
one day i want to find the right words for the exact opposite.
keep shining b x
keep shining b x
Re. how do i remember if i've done this before
1st Aug 2019 2:40am
It is peaceful to think of time backwards on scars until I abruptly am shaken awake as my wound re opens and the fresh blood
The sizzling pane
Until , until
It's just gone
But my memory,
Did it heal
Or do I just forget
and do it all over again
The sizzling pane
Until , until
It's just gone
But my memory,
Did it heal
Or do I just forget
and do it all over again
1