deepundergroundpoetry.com
unlaced
i’m starting to call people up
y’all need to get your asses together
i’m trying to go and hit the pub
just want to be a collector
but they can’t be no scrubs
you’re not too bad a contender
but definitely not worth a hookup
and when we come into the spot
i’m going to be hitting the bar
i’ve got this round, so grab a shot
even if their drinks here are subpar
but if you’re going to be drinking a lot
you had better load up their tip jar
good thing the bartenders can be bought
so slide in the spot right beside me
i’m having a jack on the rocks
you’re just the right kind, baby
with just a little bit of silvering fox
i’ve got a real thing for that lately
stepping way out of the box
won’t mind your hands on my body
i know money can’t buy much
but maybe another jack and coke
i’m sure that coupled with your touch
will be just what I need to stroke
when I finally get back in your clutch
once these burning embers are stoked
giving me such a fucking head rush
so put your hand on my waist
just know I’m not the kind of girl
that will let this jack go to waste
but if you keep making my toes curl
i’m going to be making some haste
and if you want to take that whirl
don’t let my hand go unlaced
y’all need to get your asses together
i’m trying to go and hit the pub
just want to be a collector
but they can’t be no scrubs
you’re not too bad a contender
but definitely not worth a hookup
and when we come into the spot
i’m going to be hitting the bar
i’ve got this round, so grab a shot
even if their drinks here are subpar
but if you’re going to be drinking a lot
you had better load up their tip jar
good thing the bartenders can be bought
so slide in the spot right beside me
i’m having a jack on the rocks
you’re just the right kind, baby
with just a little bit of silvering fox
i’ve got a real thing for that lately
stepping way out of the box
won’t mind your hands on my body
i know money can’t buy much
but maybe another jack and coke
i’m sure that coupled with your touch
will be just what I need to stroke
when I finally get back in your clutch
once these burning embers are stoked
giving me such a fucking head rush
so put your hand on my waist
just know I’m not the kind of girl
that will let this jack go to waste
but if you keep making my toes curl
i’m going to be making some haste
and if you want to take that whirl
don’t let my hand go unlaced
Published 13th Jul 2019
Author's Note
trying out different writing styles.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 3
comments 22
reads 996
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
13th Jul 2019 10:25pm
Love this! You put me right in the bar scene and I can feel it all. This is for real. And your lingo is a delight.
John
John
13th Jul 2019 10:29pm
Thank you very much, John! For the read, the comment and the generous RL add, luv! Much appreciated!
13th Jul 2019 10:58pm
13th Jul 2019 11:00pm
Haha, aww thanks Snaggy! Needed to try something new ;P Thanks for the read and comment, dear!
14th Jul 2019 1:21am
I like the way you slipped pub into the equation. I think you are slowly becoming English, lol. ;-) The verses are longer, that's one difference.
14th Jul 2019 1:34am
Yeah, Snaggy, you’re rubbing off on me! Haha, I wanted a different rhyme scheme than what I normally do. But I’m glad you enjoyed it :)
14th Jul 2019 1:36am
Anonymous
14th Jul 2019 00:06am
Great that you're stretching your literary wings! You may find you're comfortable in a number of different styles/moods! Jack on the rocks, huh?...a woman after my own heart! Raise a glass to this piece...really very enjoyable!
14th Jul 2019 00:08am
Haha, yes. Thank you Bobby! I do appreciate the support. Thanks for stopping in to read and comment, luv!
14th Jul 2019 00:08am
Haha, yes. Thank you Bobby! I do appreciate the support. Thanks for stopping in to read and comment, luv!
14th Jul 2019 1:34am
14th Jul 2019 3:17am
This hits me like a rap song ... Fast paced and to the point ... great write ... Next ones on me ... Bless and love
14th Jul 2019 3:23am
Oh I’m glad, alan! Thanks so much, dear, for the read and comment! I’m sure glad you enjoyed it :)
14th Jul 2019 3:41am
14th Jul 2019 9:43am
14th Jul 2019 11:06am
Been a long time since ive walked into a pub. Pounding out dark ale. 2.5 liters of scotch. Americans introduced me to their jarred shine an the further my drinking endeavor. I drank with an old man from turkey who stated i drank beyong the grave every night. Now i have two glasses of scotch a day. On the otherside i was either going to talk to you about life or try to kill you in a fight when i went to the pubs
14th Jul 2019 1:24pm
Haha my god, I hear you. Have to keep that tolerance up. Thanks for stopping in to read, comment and the very generous RL entry!
14th Jul 2019 2:20pm
Great spill Liv! 👏👏 I do dig the flow and structure
This verse is super dope
"i know money can’t buy much
but maybe another jack and coke
i’m sure that coupled with your touch
will be just what I need to stroke
when I finally get back in your clutch
once these burning embers are stoked
giving me such a fucking head rush"
Goddamn that's glorious 👏👏
Great stuff as always!
This verse is super dope
"i know money can’t buy much
but maybe another jack and coke
i’m sure that coupled with your touch
will be just what I need to stroke
when I finally get back in your clutch
once these burning embers are stoked
giving me such a fucking head rush"
Goddamn that's glorious 👏👏
Great stuff as always!
14th Jul 2019 2:21pm
Thanks, Hunter! Always so supportive! Thanks so much for the read and comment❤️
16th Jul 2019 2:25pm
This was an interesting ink especially considering the genre (erotica) but I’m happy to see that you’re open to being a lil more “open” here! lol... nice work ;)
16th Jul 2019 2:34pm
Yeah, it’s not very good erotica but, the categories aren’t perfect haha. Thanks for stopping in to read and comment!
