Carpe what's eating you What you trying to hide

Questions that may never know answers
the hows
those whys  
what the fuck just happened  
 
Flash back to being dragged by the hair
smacked about  
chocked thrown in the tub
punched in the face
once  
twice
thrice?
 
Memories blur at this stage
did that just happen  
is this actually happening  
surely can't be real
 
Internal conversation brief nano second
yes this about to go ahead
what's your play  
Fight or flight  
OK cya outa here  
let the body deal with that
 
A soul violation such as  
changes you splits you to the core
the personality not the same
like a segmented orange
never whole again  
 
Numb  
dirty  
confidence shot
self blame  
not recognising malignant signs
don't touch  
stay away
 
somethings pulled apart  
never pieced back together