White Noise And Goodbyes

 
The very things you claimed to like about me are what disconnected the connection leaving us sitting in white noise and red lights.

Silence cursed our lips that night,

You needlessly meddling with everything to avoid noticing me.
Me staring into the void waiting for something, anything.

We were beautiful initially,

The pieces of our lives meshing together,
the vibe,
the music,
our minds and bodies intertwining flowing into each other so effortlessly.

Should have known it was too good to be true.

That I only fit until you had soaked up my energy and grew weary.

I can't hate my heart for trying,
I was ready,

but you were rocking between your fear and your comfort zone and emotions that made you feel weak.

What's weak is this…

letting what could have been the best thing to ever happen to us slip through your fingertips.

The old me would have assumed that I deserved how little you cared,

assumed that I was the problem,

blamed my self for your absence when in reality,

you were always separated,
never really there.

Simply what could have been
if only you weren't as stuck in habits and ways that made no room for me in between finely pressed shirts and military grade sheets.

I don't fault the man for being what he is,
 only wish he understood things from my side of it.

Another notch on the heart is worth trying to love.