Untitled

Don't get me wrong I'm eternally grateful
Just to be able to breathe let alone
walk, talk, think and feel,
I just long to leave behind
the way I live.
I find myself complaining and hating but also so aimlessly void of ambitions
always wishing and thinking
tormenting myself
with these repetitive thoughts.
Rerunning the same scenes over and over again.
Over analyzing, assuming too much,
any discomfort and my brain starts boomin' visions zoomin' nonsensical, preconceived notions stay ruining
every event every evening every morning
every moment basically.
I hold onto the hopes I still have and to the smidgen of sanity I still possess
through the stress, I don't really do my best I must confess.
 I just relive the routines I've stayed so reliant on for years only cause my foolish fears don't appear to clear from my mind, it's all a mess and it's where I'm constantly confined.