Through My Glass…Darkly

My perception has been off ever since,
Well, I really can’t remember when,
My views were skewed from the beginning,
I guess that’s why I rely on my pen…
Yet,
I’ve been pessimistic, artistic and mildly autistic,
What I thought I understood wasn’t always the case,
I’ve faced situations with selfishness unaware
Of the consequences when my senses weren’t in place…
But,
Many a time I’ve been absorbed in my own world,
Without focus or drive to get to where I should go,
Instead I’ve laid there lazily as the days strayed crazily,
Until I realized I was being carried away by the undertow…
No!
I will not go into that despair, that crippling nightmare,
That impasse en-masse without a sense of direction,
Not at my age, not at this stage in my life and career,
In the mirror I’ll have the biggest and hardest reflection…
Yes…
My past makes me who I am today but it doesn’t dictate
The road ahead of me or the choices I’m going to make,
For therein lies the truth, gone are the days of my youth,
But I still define and decide the pathways I’m going to take.