Rock Bottom

I have dreams, I fear nightmares, but I don't see either.
I'm wide awake at the dead of night, I have a sleep eater.
It's been a quarter of a century so far, and it won't get easier.
I'm slowly dying inside, collapsing faster than a meteor.

Yeah, I'm free falling and this is not a hypnic jerk.
Got pushed off cloud nine, the test flight didn't work.
Landed at rock bottom and it really hurt.
Broke to pieces, now I have less worth.

I fear that I won't be able to put myself back together.
I fear that the coming years won't get any better.
I fear that I'll continue to crumble under all the pressure.
Never take flight like a bird with broken wing and no feathers.

What keeps me going is my own kind of perfect.
But then my own kind of perfect started to worsen.
And when my own kind of perfect worsened, it turned worthless.
Leaving me feeling worthless, and realizing that I'm not worth it.

It's curtains for me if I do not decide to act fast.
But how do I act when there is nothing I'm good at?
There is no need to polish cracked glass.
Don't wanna be unpleasant to look at.

I want to be someone all of you can be proud of seeing.
But someone you are ashamed of is what I've wound up being.
I don't want to be someone all of you stop needing.
I don't want to see all those I love end up leaving.

I can no longer stand this.
I am lost like the city of Atlantis.
But with a little bit of determination and practice.
I could be so much more than this.

My sun has gone down, but I shouldn't worry and complain.
I'll do my best while I wait for the light to come back again.
The rock bottom won't always be my domain.
Happiness is something I certainly will retain.

KP23