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A crown of thorns,
Adorned with rotten rubies
A linen stained,
With strain and imperfection
Wood, sat on so often.
Souls are numb to the splinter
Fire, feared so long
I have grown numb to its ember
Love, saturated by superficial waters
Chains, broken—yet stronger.
Hero’s temples make love to revolvers
Resistance; a figment, ripe for slaughter
One nation,
Under a God with dripping fangs
One Flag,
Drowning out all of the foreign bangs.
One goal,
To sip from bubbling spring
With bellies that poke,
And reflections that sting.
Adorned with rotten rubies
A linen stained,
With strain and imperfection
Wood, sat on so often.
Souls are numb to the splinter
Fire, feared so long
I have grown numb to its ember
Love, saturated by superficial waters
Chains, broken—yet stronger.
Hero’s temples make love to revolvers
Resistance; a figment, ripe for slaughter
One nation,
Under a God with dripping fangs
One Flag,
Drowning out all of the foreign bangs.
One goal,
To sip from bubbling spring
With bellies that poke,
And reflections that sting.
Published 17th Feb 2019
Author's Note
This poem is a new write for a “layers” competition. I love to use entendres and etymology to convey vivid tone and imagery. Thank you for reading always. -Mel
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 6
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Feb 2019 3:51pm
I love your depth and complexity
and your deeper understanding of things...
write on dearest poet...
love Brenda ❤
and your deeper understanding of things...
write on dearest poet...
love Brenda ❤
17th Feb 2019 4:08pm
Aww..thank you..I use to feel like said understanding was a curse until I saw the gift in it. I know someone like you can understand that. The anxiety’s and frustrations of chasing an ever ellusive “truth”. Thanks again for love 🙏🏽.
Politics- you do it well!
(Have very slight editing suggestions- Ruby's, belly's are possessive when plural works best there as rubies and bellies.... and it's = it is so I'm assuming you want its)
Good luck in the comp! Those are one of my favorite things about DUP, challenging myself to try new writes I wouldn't usually attempt.
(Have very slight editing suggestions- Ruby's, belly's are possessive when plural works best there as rubies and bellies.... and it's = it is so I'm assuming you want its)
Good luck in the comp! Those are one of my favorite things about DUP, challenging myself to try new writes I wouldn't usually attempt.
This is exactly why I put honest criticism. Punctuation and grammar are one of my struggling points because I am primarily a spoken word poet. This was like a 25 min write for me so it’s a bit of a draft. But I will definitely apply this knowledge because my goal is to FINALLY self publish a freakin book lol. Thank you so much for your insight.
17th Feb 2019 11:43pm
Great write Mel!👏👏
Excellent! Love your style
"Wood, sat on so often.
Souls are numb to the splinter
Fire, feared so long
I have grown numb to its ember"
Wonderfully written m8👏👏
Excellent! Love your style
"Wood, sat on so often.
Souls are numb to the splinter
Fire, feared so long
I have grown numb to its ember"
Wonderfully written m8👏👏
18th Feb 2019 00:01am
Thanks as always. Those lines are my favorite because they are a silent metaphor for churches. I’m sure you caught that lol.
