Dear Hero, From Villain

Shepard,
 
I am not pleased to hear news about your daughter threatening to raise a galactic army against my son, Hades, at daycare today. The time you did it was bad enough, now your daughter swears that she has gotten the synthesized Reapers to cooperate with her! As the oldest and most powerful of the Reapers, I find this unacceptable as it is I who should have supreme control over them; only I! The universe bends to me, and I will not allow a puny organic like your daughter to defeat my superior son.
 
Harbinger.
 
 
Harbinger,
 
What can I say? Hayley is following in my footsteps. A mere threat is nothing compared to what you and the other Reapers did during the war. You’ve taken the lives of trillions and now you’re complaining about a little girl who merely recounted tales about her mother’s success? It’s not my fault that your plan to “restore order” failed. I suggest you watch your tongue, or whatever it is you use to talk, before I reconsider my decision about synthesizing with the Reapers. Here’s a tip of the day: learn to lighten up and take a joke as it is.  
 
Commander Shepard