deepundergroundpoetry.com
Life of lies
"You're my friend"
That was a lie
"I can trust you"
That was a lie
"I stopped hurting myself"
That was a lie
"I can't live without you"
That was a lie
"I hate you"
That was a lie
Everything you said was a lie
And for some reason I believed you
I fell for that trap
I ruined my life
I now see
The fate ahead of me
So now I thank you
For all your lies
That was a lie
"I can trust you"
That was a lie
"I stopped hurting myself"
That was a lie
"I can't live without you"
That was a lie
"I hate you"
That was a lie
Everything you said was a lie
And for some reason I believed you
I fell for that trap
I ruined my life
I now see
The fate ahead of me
So now I thank you
For all your lies
Published 30th Jan 2019
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likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 412
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Jan 2019 5:35pm
Hello there, tHeInSiDeMaN666, welcome to DUP!
People are not always what they seem...
I really liked the poem, and I think it was pretty expressive. It is really sad, but the ending is uplifting, so I enjoyed the contrast, and the optimistic outcome. Nicely done!
my only suggestion would be to add quotations around the first statements to clearly separate the dialogue between yourself and what you were told... for example:
"You're my friend"
That was a lie
"I can trust you"
That was a lie
Anyway, again, nice work, and welcome to our community!
People are not always what they seem...
I really liked the poem, and I think it was pretty expressive. It is really sad, but the ending is uplifting, so I enjoyed the contrast, and the optimistic outcome. Nicely done!
my only suggestion would be to add quotations around the first statements to clearly separate the dialogue between yourself and what you were told... for example:
"You're my friend"
That was a lie
"I can trust you"
That was a lie
Anyway, again, nice work, and welcome to our community!
30th Jan 2019 6:58pm
31st Jan 2019 1:54am
31st Jan 2019 3:48am
