deepundergroundpoetry.com
Vow
I came to the train station long ago,
I only see my lover’s face in thought.
The waiting for my love to come is slow,
O sights, O smells, O sounds, entice me not.
The sight of her I cannot near describe,
With skin of cream & hair of midnight sun.
Her vision is my heaven to imbibe,
Forever know she’ll be my only one.
The heady smell of her when we make love,
Has my heart palpitate then skips a beat.
I feel the angels blessing me above,
Till comes the moment face-to-face we meet.
The sounds this woman makes has me insane.
Her laughter is the sun that gives me life,
Her tears revive me when they fall like rain.
It won’t be long till she becomes my wife.
Until she does, my time is merely grey,
In everything surrounding me just now.
The trains, they come & go, both night & day,
I’ll wait for always, this to her I vow.
I only see my lover’s face in thought.
The waiting for my love to come is slow,
O sights, O smells, O sounds, entice me not.
The sight of her I cannot near describe,
With skin of cream & hair of midnight sun.
Her vision is my heaven to imbibe,
Forever know she’ll be my only one.
The heady smell of her when we make love,
Has my heart palpitate then skips a beat.
I feel the angels blessing me above,
Till comes the moment face-to-face we meet.
The sounds this woman makes has me insane.
Her laughter is the sun that gives me life,
Her tears revive me when they fall like rain.
It won’t be long till she becomes my wife.
Until she does, my time is merely grey,
In everything surrounding me just now.
The trains, they come & go, both night & day,
I’ll wait for always, this to her I vow.
Written by
Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
Published 5th Jan 2019
Author's Note
Entered in the Deep competition “A Picture Holds A Thousand Words #5”, hosted by LunasChild8.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 8
comments 25
reads 1175
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Vow
Anonymous
5th Jan 2019 8:39pm
this holds a romantic lust, deep in poetic depths of those who have ever loved.
1
Re: Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 8:48pm
Re: Re. Vow
Re: Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 9:39pm
Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 9:25pm
Re: Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 9:29pm
Thank you, Tallen. Look closely, you might discover just how interesting it is.
Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 10:40pm
This is a beautiful interpretation of the image, dear Jade. I loved the imagery you've used and the overall theme.
Well done, and thanks for participating in my competition!
Well done, and thanks for participating in my competition!
1
Re: Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 10:49pm
It’s a pleasure & always an honor, dear sister of the Moon. I love the image, and knew it would all be revealed to me very soon. My humble thanks,
Tiger sister
Tiger sister
Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 11:10pm
Re: Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 11:15pm
My thanks to you, Priest, for your thoughtful words, and for the RL honor.
Re. Vow
5th Jan 2019 11:27pm
Love how you execute the theme, and love the rhyme. Not only that. I adore the romantic element, most of all. Terrific job, jadey. Ninja thinks so too,
1
Re: Re. Vow
6th Jan 2019 1:41am
Thank you so much, my friend. For a moment you helped me forget that I’m under the weather. And Ninja is helping you get better, you have such a fine companion in her. How fortunate I feel that you both enjoy my latest effort. It was such a pleasure & inspiration for me. And I appreciate the RL honor, Thomas.
Re. Vow
Anonymous
5th Jan 2019 11:50pm
Beautifully written and imaginative, Jadey. You're such a good writer.
Are you feeling better?
Love,
Matthew.
Are you feeling better?
Love,
Matthew.
1
Re: Re. Vow
Thank you, Matthew, it’s nice that you like it. And I’m just a tiger girl who writes poetry.
Re. Vow
6th Jan 2019 1:03am
I very much enjoyed this one. Best of luck in the comp Jade. I'm not sure if I can top this one. Great work!!
1
Re: Re. Vow
6th Jan 2019 1:24am
Oooh, dear Sister of the Pen, it was the theme/ Image of the comp that brought it out of me, I never know or can predict how my efforts wind up doing. You & I, we’re both writers, so we do what our passion dictates. I would never try to deny it.
And thank you so much, for your lovely words, and for the RL honor. That means as much to me as anything.
And thank you so much, for your lovely words, and for the RL honor. That means as much to me as anything.
Re. Vow
6th Jan 2019 11:32am
i loved how your words slide fast in a rush of lucid conveyance..yet with the essentially slowed down elaborations.. of yearned love as senses grounded & rising beyond..with that vow watsoev..all woven in the metaphorical waiting at the train station..strikes a sync with my thought train- had somehow loved the 'train' - its sound sight smell ..evokes nostalgia of love of timelessness ..ironically from its fast running in & outs..the waiting seeing passenger & the stillness station still have loaded stories to say...#juzme from your reads..happy to be reading you Jade & yes, masterful ink! best fr the comp. :) x
1
Re: Re. Vow
8th Jan 2019 3:13am
Dear Uma, I can’t thank you enough for the way you express your appreciation of someone’s work. I’m particularly honored by your visit & read. A slow, graceful bow to you, spirit princess.
Re. Vow
This was so unexpected... and I mean that in the best possible way. I love the almost a throw-back to those wonderful lyrical poems. I love that we could talk about it and you could read it to me.
Usually when you stretch yourself, it leans modern or approaches content from an altered perspective... But this!
What wonderful statement of the poetry that caught me in childhood or at school. Why I love poetry...
Thank you, Jadey. A great write!
Tommy
Usually when you stretch yourself, it leans modern or approaches content from an altered perspective... But this!
What wonderful statement of the poetry that caught me in childhood or at school. Why I love poetry...
Thank you, Jadey. A great write!
Tommy
1
Re: Re. Vow
Dearest tommy...
For the time we were able to spend as we spoke of many things, and read to each other that early morning, you’d think I’d have all the words ready for my reply on the tip of my tongue. You would think, wouldn’t you?
Jadey💌
For the time we were able to spend as we spoke of many things, and read to each other that early morning, you’d think I’d have all the words ready for my reply on the tip of my tongue. You would think, wouldn’t you?
Jadey💌
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 00:46am
7th Jan 2019 10:51pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Vow
8th Jan 2019 3:21am
Thank you, most kindly, dear poet. And... it’s not as much what you say to me that you feel falls short of your meaning. To me, it’s what I see as evidence of the effort in your attempt that leaves a more lasting impression.
And a warm greeting to welcome you to the Deep.
And a warm greeting to welcome you to the Deep.
Re. Vow
8th Jan 2019 11:49pm
A great beginning and wonderful ending to the theme. All the love in between was refreshing.
1
Re: Re. Vow
8th Jan 2019 11:59pm
Why thank you, Douglas, how lovely the express of your reader’s embrace.
And warm greetings, welcoming you to the Deep.
And warm greetings, welcoming you to the Deep.