Fall

It's autumn,            
I watch my face morph in the reflection of the lake that way I have something to blame when I don't recognize that face            
           
It's autumn,            
I learn he is married, and he is already undressing me            
           
Leaving what feels like my bare bones naked,        
exposed without permission to be skinned alive            
           
It's autumn,            
The tree's are lying next to me            
           
I drift off and my body stays in character, awake, obedient to the intruder, "good bitch"            
           
It's autumn,            
I wonder if his hands feel like this to her too,        
cuticles rough with passion pretending to be passion      
If he feels like a trespasser you let in         
           
It's autumn,            
The trees are dying next to me           
           
I wonder how she takes her coffee everything I look at mine,            
I can't seem to stop pouring for her too            
           
I hear the beauty of her name in every breath he temporarily holds captive,            
And I dream of her in glass jars and in the bottom of the ocean,  
safe and out of his reach            
           
It's autumn,            
He must have mastered the art of skinning because the trees have turned to bone so quickly            
           
If she too can feel him under her nails and sewn in between her eyelashes when he has removed himself from in between her thighs            
           
Cunts the grand prize            
           
He has buried himself in her deepest parts and there is no room for her there too            
           
It's autumn,            
There is not enough room for all these bones            
           
My body is starting to feel less and less like a body and more like a body bag that breathes,            
And I am no longer worried if he goes too hard on me            
           
I hear the silence screaming at me in the space inbetween his moans, "Have you reached the bottom yet? Felt the texture of the floor and the darkest parts you hide from yourself? Have you girl?!"            
           
It's autumn,            
You hide from yourself            
You..you must mimic the sun            
There is beauty in that            
           
He tells me he misses me,      
the touch of us,      
that he loved the thought      
     
I punch him in the mouth that had tried to devour me whole and admired his red            
           
His very own shade of fall            
           
It's autumn,            
I fell and I did not notice            
But at least I am not alone lying of the floor            
           
It's autumn,            
The trees have died with a piece of me,            
           
And I guess there is beauty in that too