Muddy Puddle Part 2

I had ran away from home today
I went to a place my family didn't know
To a man that lived on his own
Hours from home and scared in a new place
But I had been speaking to this man for a few weeks
I was sure he would put me up until I was on my feet
When I finally got there he was high
and invited me to join him
I'd had a joint before but this was different
This. Was. Euphoria.
It got a little later, people started showing up
I protested not wanting company from people i didn't know
I was abruptly swept aside for
Little exchanges of hands and everyone getting high
I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched
After sitting on my own for an hour I asked the man if I could stay for a few nights
He said i could, if I gave him sex each night i stayed
But I wasn't stupid
I argued for 15 minutes each time getting more and more forceful
But he stood his ground and I mine.
I threw a dinner plate at him in frustration
I stormed out.

I started walking, I didn't want anyone there
I didn't want to be near anyone, I felt gross
"Hey not so fast"
oh god, what now?
"I want to talk"
cool, I don't
'please leave me alone'
I keep walking.
Faster.
Faster.
Fuck he's still following me.
I start looking frantically for a lit window,
a busy street,
a car.
But nothing is around.
I take a sharp right and start running
Blinded by tears. Blinded by fear.
I cannot see where I'm running
I trip on what I can only assume is Satan trying to trap me forever
I throw my arms forward.
Too late.
I hit my head hard
I feel warm blood running behind my ear,
Turning quickly cool from the breeze
Suddenly someone's on me
I can't see his face, black with shadows
He starts patting me down, but he's too handsy
I push his arms away, trying to turn and get up
He suddenly starts getting angry
He slapped me. hard.
I'm stunned, where'd that come from?
I hear my shirt ripping and
I'm propelled back to reality
'NO GET OFF!' "shut up bitch"
I feel my pants tearing from beneath me
'NO.NO.NO.NO.NO.NO.'
I struggle but he's too strong
He hits me again.
I feel his hands on my knees
And I squeeze with all my might
And again I'm hit. And hit. And hit.
I finally release from sheer exhaustion
I taste his slimy breath catching in my throat
I feel his cock forcing it's way in
I struggle again.
He pins my hands next to my head
'No.no.no.no.no.please.please stop.'
In.out.in.out.in.
Out.in.out.in.out.
'Please just stop'
I feel everything.
Every single hair. Every single vein.
Every tiny inch. Every agonising thrust.
He shudders and releases that vile stuff into me
I feel it just sitting there.
I feel dirty.
where if I bathed for a hundred million years I'd still not be clean
You roll of me finally.
I'm frozen on the cold unforgiving ground, unsure of what you'll do if I move
You motion to stand and look back to me
Think better of it and walk away.
I was raped. I was naked. I didn't know anyone. My clothes a pile of blood and rags. My sense of self, destroyed. My confidence, my trust? Non existent.
A shell of a human.
Sitting alone and naked in a vacant block.
no one to blame but herself.