The Revival Saga Part III: Insecurity

           Looking at myself in the mirror I see the reflection staring back at me
           I don't recongize this person nor do I want to try, but as I look back at her
          I see flash backs of the past and as I look back at each event I've come to
         terms with the fact that it's time for a change. I look at myself and as I feel
        inadequate about myself and everything about me, I start to grow more self    
        aware about my flaws. Each part of myself both physically and personality wise
        they all make me feel like I'm not good enough for a world that's filled with  
        judgement or be accepted by those with the malicious, electric eyes that stare  
         at my every move to the same ones with deceiving mouths that smile in your face
        then whisper such evil slander about your name. Every day is a challenge and
      isn't promised to be great, it's better yet a surprise whether good or bad you never know what's in store for you as you go about day after day.
Look at me and tell me what you see 'cause I sure as hell don't know.
I see someone that'll never find love, doomed to walk this cruel world drowning in her sorrow to be the only one to wipe her tears away, to be the only one that knows what it feels like to truly not have a friend, and to be merely a ghost lurking about as I await the time I ascend.
I've truly lost all hope of a happy ending as I stand here looking into the mirror of my past while I try to figure out why am I not loved?
I love with all of my heart as I'd rip it straight out of my chest while it's still beating oh so profoundly just to prove how loyal I am, but yet it never mattered since my heart always remained empty for no one could fill this lonely void I feel each day of my life.
       So I don't try to rely on anyone when the reality is I will always have me, myself, and I which don't matter anymore because I'd rather be alone than be surrounded by those who weren't real with me anyway or didn't even want to be there for me.
  But till then I just got myself to believe in and be my own hero since there ain't no such thing as a knight in shining armor riding in on a noble steed ready to rescue you nor will he be rushing to your doorstep with a dozen roses telling you how beautiful and incredible you are then telling you how much he loves then swooping you up and wisking you away as you ride with him off to the sunset.
I'll never get to be as pretty as every model you see in the cover of the magazines or have the body that looks as if it was made by Aphrodite herself with a face that would make plastic surgeons cry without a little imperfection here and there whether it's on my thighs or it's on my stomach I don't ever feel pretty whenever I look at myself.
I feel insecure.