deepundergroundpoetry.com
'MY GIRL'
Is she really obsessed, or just a scam?
I don't know how to bring this up with tact
She tells me she adores all that I am
Not knowing me at all- that shit is whack!
Yet she keeps investing so much effort
Is she really obsessed, or just a scam?
Something simply feels so very Stepford
"Oh baby you're amazing" - taste the ham?
Advances made me feel like such a man
I tell myself I earned them all the same
Is she really obsessed, or just a scam?
I feel I know the answer: it is pain
“Run!” my friend commanded when I explained
Thus vaporized my tendency to plan
The question itself shows there’s none to gain:
Is she really obsessed, or just a scam?
I don't know how to bring this up with tact
She tells me she adores all that I am
Not knowing me at all- that shit is whack!
Yet she keeps investing so much effort
Is she really obsessed, or just a scam?
Something simply feels so very Stepford
"Oh baby you're amazing" - taste the ham?
Advances made me feel like such a man
I tell myself I earned them all the same
Is she really obsessed, or just a scam?
I feel I know the answer: it is pain
“Run!” my friend commanded when I explained
Thus vaporized my tendency to plan
The question itself shows there’s none to gain:
Is she really obsessed, or just a scam?
Published 9th Nov 2018
| Edited 12th Nov 2018
Author's Note
my first attempt at a quatern
***Edited 11/12/18 to make each line 10 syllables, based on advice from resident quatern authorities Jade-Pandora and Hepcat61
***Edited 11/12/18 to make each line 10 syllables, based on advice from resident quatern authorities Jade-Pandora and Hepcat61
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 11
reads 524
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th Nov 2018 8:11pm
Well done ... I am always impressed when someone pulls one of these off ... bravo my poet ... (not a scam) ...
9th Nov 2018 8:17pm
9th Nov 2018 8:15pm
dearest SatInUgal wonderful quatrain
I've never done one myself to undisciplined I think
the subject matter is compelling as well
just saying I've seen many true life love stories on du in my time
one that produced a marriage and a baby...
well done...
love Brenda ❤
I've never done one myself to undisciplined I think
the subject matter is compelling as well
just saying I've seen many true life love stories on du in my time
one that produced a marriage and a baby...
well done...
love Brenda ❤
9th Nov 2018 8:18pm
9th Nov 2018 10:52pm
9th Nov 2018 10:52pm
11th Nov 2018 2:01am
12th Nov 2018 8:31pm
My advice for this form is that you have to really know what you want to say, because that drive will push you through the hoops of getting the form correct.
11th Nov 2018 3:20pm
11th Nov 2018 3:30pm
