Beautiful Child

her words strike,
an angry snake
filled with venom
burn my heart
worst fire I have ever known

there were not enough tears to
squelch her anger
her words, hisses of black smoke
filled my lungs
choking my thoughts

there was nothing
to do but let her watch
me burn,
hope for
forgiveness

(thinking and wondering
can drive you crazy,
second guessing yourself ..
 even worse
a knife in your chest cuts
just a little deeper,
watching yourself bleed,
feeling nothing
completely disengaged...
 she catches glimpses
 of someone
 she no longer recognizes  ..
 she wonders where she went)

in the end, she did not blame me
for all that had transpired,
only that it had taken me so long
to save myself