Learning to trust

Resting in your warm embrace,  
Thoughts floating in a slumber daze,
I delight in this tranquil space.  
 
Your caring hands and vibrant smile,  
Your open heart and lust for life,  
Force me to question: Who am I?  
 
Feeling at loss, out of control,  
Fear, guilt and shame take their toll.  
A crushing realisation weighs on my mind,  
Reasons to blame myself are all I can find.  
 
As I lie here, quiet and still,  
A tear creeps up. Yet all I can feel  
Is your breath, your heartbeat,  
And love to which I kneel.  
 
To have almost lost you  
To sense the ending near  
Is humbling, numbing,  
And perhaps my biggest fear.