the meth diaries~temptation's alley

 
I will be returning home on Friday
back to temptation
I'm feeling anxious

my writing isn't on point
and it's bothering me
I'm used to writing high

I feel naked and afraid
ill prepared to have the drug in my face
I have no choice but to resist temptation
this is no game
it's my life

I will succeed I know it
i'm strong and I have a lot of support
but still the fear creeps in

I continue to have drug nightmares
but now when the meth is in front of me I say no
that's a comfort it would be so easy to give in
it makes me feel good
even my sleeping mind isn't tricked

my days are sometimes hard
but I look forward to the little things
like seeing people I love
my next meal
and even going pee when my bladder is full
I focus on things that feel good
give me relief from my internal ache

I know someday I will write up to my par again
I have to be patient with myself
I've spent most my life high
it will take my brain sometime
it will take me time to find my true voice