deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hell(holding all this inside)
Hell is having teenage chemically dependent parents
Mother emotionally abusing me on a regular basis
Father wants me to be the object of his desire
Hell is watching man after man entertain your mom
Being sent to church on Sunday, what did I learn? Nothing
Being put out of the hypocritical establishment because I asked too many questions. Good Riddens
Hell are supposed friends who claim they got your back and care
Woken up in the middle of the night by a friend's uncle almost attacked
Hell is not knowing if you are loved and then search for it in every detestable place known to man
Not knowing or feeling secure enough to feel if a damn soul understands
Hell is when you trust no one because everyone has taken your kindness as weakness; which now results in pushing everyone away to avoid the obvious stress of betrayal
At some point you can count on it.
Hell is witnessing a man fall to the ground from being stabbed and you duck very low and take cover so no one ever knows you witnessed it
Hell is watching your father die because the drugs were his only true love
After living life with all this stress, where is this GOD above
Hell is being so selfish I aborted my son when he was 6 months the nightmare of his kicks haunts me 19 years later oh GOD I wish
You would free me from this recurring nightmare
Hell is when you try to commit suicide twice and come up short, DAMN
Waking up one more day with all its madness and all sorts
People actually say it is great to be alive another day.
My friend was heartbroken one time too many and took the hiatus and alas she succeeded leaving me here in hell to grieve, and further perceive
What in the world is going on in this life
Having no family to talk with or turn to
You get a call only when it is something I can do
Always criticized, forget my feelings they never matter
Because I will not conform to their ideals, often subjected to their negative chatter
Receive awards of all sorts and look around for signs of a familiar face, reality kicks in and my optimism is a waste
Hell is when you held your heart within so long and finally give it to someone who tossed it like yesterday's garbage. It is more hell when you withold information from him in an effort to protect his interest, but the information he has in front of him truly looks like my betrayal, what hurts worst is the years we dealt, my actions showed him my love, honor and respect. I realized I lost and will never win in that situation. KEEP IT MOVING
While the world sleeps, I am wide awake wondering if the floor boards are clean, if I scrubbed the walls for the 20th time, grocery list completed, overactive schedule at the gym
When your man leaves you for a relative and they have kids and expect you to be happy for them. You bums deserve each other
Having libido that no one can control, damn I thought men wanted a woman that was a freak in the sheets
With exquisite P**** that can't be beat.
My favorite one, GOD is trying to get your attention and punishing you for all the wrong you have done.
Ok GOD I hear you, point taken you have truly won
There is more hell that I will continue to retain
Although there are times I feel I am going insane
Do not tell me about a fiery place after I die, because I am living in and through hell right now
Mother emotionally abusing me on a regular basis
Father wants me to be the object of his desire
Hell is watching man after man entertain your mom
Being sent to church on Sunday, what did I learn? Nothing
Being put out of the hypocritical establishment because I asked too many questions. Good Riddens
Hell are supposed friends who claim they got your back and care
Woken up in the middle of the night by a friend's uncle almost attacked
Hell is not knowing if you are loved and then search for it in every detestable place known to man
Not knowing or feeling secure enough to feel if a damn soul understands
Hell is when you trust no one because everyone has taken your kindness as weakness; which now results in pushing everyone away to avoid the obvious stress of betrayal
At some point you can count on it.
Hell is witnessing a man fall to the ground from being stabbed and you duck very low and take cover so no one ever knows you witnessed it
Hell is watching your father die because the drugs were his only true love
After living life with all this stress, where is this GOD above
Hell is being so selfish I aborted my son when he was 6 months the nightmare of his kicks haunts me 19 years later oh GOD I wish
You would free me from this recurring nightmare
Hell is when you try to commit suicide twice and come up short, DAMN
Waking up one more day with all its madness and all sorts
People actually say it is great to be alive another day.
My friend was heartbroken one time too many and took the hiatus and alas she succeeded leaving me here in hell to grieve, and further perceive
What in the world is going on in this life
Having no family to talk with or turn to
You get a call only when it is something I can do
Always criticized, forget my feelings they never matter
Because I will not conform to their ideals, often subjected to their negative chatter
Receive awards of all sorts and look around for signs of a familiar face, reality kicks in and my optimism is a waste
Hell is when you held your heart within so long and finally give it to someone who tossed it like yesterday's garbage. It is more hell when you withold information from him in an effort to protect his interest, but the information he has in front of him truly looks like my betrayal, what hurts worst is the years we dealt, my actions showed him my love, honor and respect. I realized I lost and will never win in that situation. KEEP IT MOVING
While the world sleeps, I am wide awake wondering if the floor boards are clean, if I scrubbed the walls for the 20th time, grocery list completed, overactive schedule at the gym
When your man leaves you for a relative and they have kids and expect you to be happy for them. You bums deserve each other
Having libido that no one can control, damn I thought men wanted a woman that was a freak in the sheets
With exquisite P**** that can't be beat.
My favorite one, GOD is trying to get your attention and punishing you for all the wrong you have done.
Ok GOD I hear you, point taken you have truly won
There is more hell that I will continue to retain
Although there are times I feel I am going insane
Do not tell me about a fiery place after I die, because I am living in and through hell right now
Published 2nd Nov 2011
| Edited 2nd Dec 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Nov 2011 7:34pm
Hugs Kym from the bottom of my soul for the hell you are enduring..wishing you peace with all my heart..Crim
2nd Nov 2011 7:49pm
have you ever noticed how good fresh air tastes
when that soft summer breeze brushes against your face
have you ever drank pure water uncorrupted by industry
satisfaction from the quinching of thirst's bitter misery
have you ever Read His Word all alone thinking you're by yourself
have you ever been in a predicament where you received the most unexpected help
have you ever met a man who was so intriqued by your mind
& though he surely wanted your body but was willing to wait until the proper time
have you ever looked in a mirror & realized the Beauty within your eyes
have you ever in your Life been totally pleasently surprised
have you ever got down on your knees & just allowed your heart to speak
you will know because if you have then your eyes would instantly weep
have you ever just given up & honestly said "God, I put all my Faith In You"
if not then give it a try, you just might be surprised by the things He Will Do....
when that soft summer breeze brushes against your face
have you ever drank pure water uncorrupted by industry
satisfaction from the quinching of thirst's bitter misery
have you ever Read His Word all alone thinking you're by yourself
have you ever been in a predicament where you received the most unexpected help
have you ever met a man who was so intriqued by your mind
& though he surely wanted your body but was willing to wait until the proper time
have you ever looked in a mirror & realized the Beauty within your eyes
have you ever in your Life been totally pleasently surprised
have you ever got down on your knees & just allowed your heart to speak
you will know because if you have then your eyes would instantly weep
have you ever just given up & honestly said "God, I put all my Faith In You"
if not then give it a try, you just might be surprised by the things He Will Do....
3rd Nov 2011 00:10am
3rd Nov 2011 6:04am
3rd Nov 2011 12:49pm
2nd Dec 2011 3:02am
2nd Nov 2011 10:03pm
Hi kym.
some truly harrowing stuff above. i would echo the sentiments of Crimson.
some small things that i might change:
2nd L on a regular you might be able to cut "on a" or you need 'basis' in there
I think when you have a composition of that size you should look for anything that might be surplus to requirements.
the last three lines of the second stanza might fit that. they don't seem to imply the same sort of hell that the other examples do.
'supposed' could go too
'To only be set up and I was within seconds of being physically attacked'
this line does not sit right i have no suggestion on how to fix it though, sorry.
"Liquefied to the point your voice no longer matters
Looking over your back, not sure if your head is due to be on a platter aka reward"
these four lines kind of make no sense you could probably cut them too.
'6 months and I felt his kicks, the nightmare haunts'
i would end that sentence at six months, and go with his kicks still haunt me...
"You would take me from the hell I am living now, because there is more I hold inside, but I swore I would hold it all in until I expired also known as dying"
i would either cut this line or put it at the end with a little re-mix.
It is a very sad write i think you have done a good job. The suggestions above are just suggestions, it's easy for me to say 'cut' when the lines have no relevance to me.
anyhoo hope they are of some help.
shine on!!
some truly harrowing stuff above. i would echo the sentiments of Crimson.
some small things that i might change:
2nd L on a regular you might be able to cut "on a" or you need 'basis' in there
I think when you have a composition of that size you should look for anything that might be surplus to requirements.
the last three lines of the second stanza might fit that. they don't seem to imply the same sort of hell that the other examples do.
'supposed' could go too
'To only be set up and I was within seconds of being physically attacked'
this line does not sit right i have no suggestion on how to fix it though, sorry.
"Liquefied to the point your voice no longer matters
Looking over your back, not sure if your head is due to be on a platter aka reward"
these four lines kind of make no sense you could probably cut them too.
'6 months and I felt his kicks, the nightmare haunts'
i would end that sentence at six months, and go with his kicks still haunt me...
"You would take me from the hell I am living now, because there is more I hold inside, but I swore I would hold it all in until I expired also known as dying"
i would either cut this line or put it at the end with a little re-mix.
It is a very sad write i think you have done a good job. The suggestions above are just suggestions, it's easy for me to say 'cut' when the lines have no relevance to me.
anyhoo hope they are of some help.
shine on!!
2nd Nov 2011 10:43pm
3rd Nov 2011 6:08am
Analogous to a Dante.
Once brutal, once intense
A symphony to an Auswitz
Once melancholic, once harsh
Visceral beyond a Turgut installation
Once cruel, once ruthless
And once 'hopeful', but tiny shards
Yet they are not engulfed
By the magnetic blackhole
They stay put and bleed colour
And that's bright, a thousand fireflies
And Lo! It's a tiny sun!
And this one is not dying..
Warmth. S'
Once brutal, once intense
A symphony to an Auswitz
Once melancholic, once harsh
Visceral beyond a Turgut installation
Once cruel, once ruthless
And once 'hopeful', but tiny shards
Yet they are not engulfed
By the magnetic blackhole
They stay put and bleed colour
And that's bright, a thousand fireflies
And Lo! It's a tiny sun!
And this one is not dying..
Warmth. S'
3rd Nov 2011 12:04pm
3rd Nov 2011 7:22am
I'm not trying to be funny, but do you know the movie "Talledaga Nights"?
Kym, you piss excellence!
Kym, you piss excellence!
3rd Nov 2011 12:05pm
I am not familiar with it. I will look into it.
Thanks for the great comments
Thanks for the great comments
20th Nov 2011 2:04am
I rarely read other people's poems
But goddammit you've summed up my whole life.
You spoke the words I've been wanting to say for years.
Thank You. This is true poetry and art.
But goddammit you've summed up my whole life.
You spoke the words I've been wanting to say for years.
Thank You. This is true poetry and art.
26th Nov 2011 4:23pm
26th Nov 2011 5:54pm
Anonymous
20th Jan 2012 6:44pm
!How did i miss this..sad but amazing write kym!
21st Jan 2012 2:56am
27th Jan 2013 10:40pm
A big tight hug for the hell you're enduring. I mean this with all my heart Kym.
I wish I can say that things will get better, but I'm tired my self of that damn saying.
I wish I can say that things will get better, but I'm tired my self of that damn saying.
29th Jan 2013 2:35pm
Delumi, thank you very much. I appreciate it.
I stopped saying that to people also, as most times it DOES NOT get better.
Hugs back to you.
I stopped saying that to people also, as most times it DOES NOT get better.
Hugs back to you.
18th Apr 2013 10:52pm
My Biggest HUG and Prayers go out too you sweets!
Awesome write love!!
Sir Lancelott
Awesome write love!!
Sir Lancelott
