deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rest in Peace
Rest in Peace
I wish to close my eyes.
Rest for an hour.
Rest til happiness.
Doubts arise, if that can
be found in this life.
On this earth.
Remember the last time,
I was happy?
Does your mind quiet for that?
Because mine is screaming,
"How do you think you can
make it through another night?"
My mind taunts me
Like a school yard bully,
double dog daring me
to end the pain.
I want the thoughts to stop.
At least slow down to a
walking pace.
Let me keep up.
One step at a time.
One day at a time,
I taste bitterness when I say those words.
I feel like a liar, a big fake.
"Oh yes, I have come so far."
It's a little crazy when the comparison
of how far you have come,
is checking the calendar for the
last time you drank a bottle of pills.
I haven't, lately.
I just think about it a lot,
Not the pills.
Just being done.
That's what worries me,
to stop the thoughts,
to find rest,
to find happiness,
to make my mind shut the fuck up,
to tell the truth.
I am not feeling better
I am terrified the only way
I can be at peace, is to
Rest in Peace.
I wish to close my eyes.
Rest for an hour.
Rest til happiness.
Doubts arise, if that can
be found in this life.
On this earth.
Remember the last time,
I was happy?
Does your mind quiet for that?
Because mine is screaming,
"How do you think you can
make it through another night?"
My mind taunts me
Like a school yard bully,
double dog daring me
to end the pain.
I want the thoughts to stop.
At least slow down to a
walking pace.
Let me keep up.
One step at a time.
One day at a time,
I taste bitterness when I say those words.
I feel like a liar, a big fake.
"Oh yes, I have come so far."
It's a little crazy when the comparison
of how far you have come,
is checking the calendar for the
last time you drank a bottle of pills.
I haven't, lately.
I just think about it a lot,
Not the pills.
Just being done.
That's what worries me,
to stop the thoughts,
to find rest,
to find happiness,
to make my mind shut the fuck up,
to tell the truth.
I am not feeling better
I am terrified the only way
I can be at peace, is to
Rest in Peace.
Published 24th Sep 2018
Author's Note
This is a part of me, the part that comes out when I am alone at night. Most people in my life don't understand my feelings, but my paper does.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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24th Sep 2018 8:59pm
Wonderful ... brave write my poetess ... I understand ... welcome to DUP ...
25th Sep 2018 9:23pm
