deepundergroundpoetry.com
Grotto
(A Rensaku = linked tanka)
first time
while adrift in a skiff
sun bears down
in the nudeness of skin
unrelenting, willful
•
swelling waves
craggy cliffs go blurry
motor purrs
last minute regret
now fevered resolve
•
going in
you think of nothing
primal scream
thoughts gone feral
gripping, guiding rudder
•
whirlpool
vortex-sucking hull
awareness
pray to any god
cry out that you love her
•
letting go
spiritual orgasm
that’s what you’ll tell her
flat-bottom, passed out
the skiff’s blue reflection
•
Published 14th Sep 2018
Author's Note
Always wanted to do this.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 1
comments 24
reads 916
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Anonymous
- Edited 30th May 2019 3:51pm
14th Sep 2018 4:16pm
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 30th May 2019 3:51pm
14th Sep 2018 5:44pm
<< post removed >>
14th Sep 2018 6:11pm
Jarlath, my humble thanks for returning to soothe my curiosity. Such a gift of a word, excellent, applied to my simple little ink, I had to ask.
With my gratitude,
ever
Jade🐅
With my gratitude,
ever
Jade🐅
14th Sep 2018 5:22pm
Never read or heard of a Rensaku before but with such an introduction as reading yours, dormant potential is tugging at the leash.
I really like how the two parallel stories are carried through the poem. Going sailing in my dinghy will take on new meaning. :)
I really like how the two parallel stories are carried through the poem. Going sailing in my dinghy will take on new meaning. :)
14th Sep 2018 5:36pm
Dear Josh, your comment has done me a great service. I thought I had made a mistake writing this piece as a Rensaku rather than as a more typical style perhaps. Now, after your comment, and a thorough reread, I know to leave it be.
Thank you, friend.
Thank you, friend.
14th Sep 2018 7:42pm
I'm not familiar with the form but I love this. Another lesson in style, much appreciated. The lines are short and very powerful. I'm fascinated by the idea of a "spiritual orgasm." It's almost an oxymoron, seems to me, but it works beautifully here. Excellent work, Jade!
14th Sep 2018 8:30pm
Re 'spiritual orgasm' I think the old fashioned religious wording is "to be in a state of ecstasy (or to 'transcend oneself')" after many years prayer & devotion, one of the experiences on the the ladder of 'spiritual growth' - also achieved in shamanic traditions via trance-dancing with a little help from certain plants, which overall seems a more appealing option. Of course, there are many paths to enlightenment - to which Jade's wonderful poem alludes. :))
Josh said: “Of course, there are many paths to enlightenment - to which Jade's wonderful poem alludes.” :))
YES!! 🤗
YES!! 🤗
14th Sep 2018 10:36pm
I’m so glad, my dear crowfly friend, and I thank you for the honor of place!
Ah, when it’s spiritual, it’s divine!😇
Ah, when it’s spiritual, it’s divine!😇
14th Sep 2018 9:22pm
Echo Bender. Would make an adventurous first time. ('Love in a punt' comes to mind.)
14th Sep 2018 10:30pm
15th Sep 2018 11:05am
17th Sep 2018 7:31am
15th Sep 2018 2:32pm
17th Sep 2018 7:40am
Oh my goodness, I’m so glad to see you stopping in! Your avatar is bare... weren’t you wearing a lovely hat?
But thank you for your comment - I’m so pleased how you’ve embraced my Rensaku.
⛲️
But thank you for your comment - I’m so pleased how you’ve embraced my Rensaku.
⛲️
15th Sep 2018 2:32pm
I sometimes feel late to the party - but how I love this in every aspect. What a wonderful form to take on this expression. What fun it was to venture into that Grotto... I know I'll be back... again and again!
tommy
tommy
17th Sep 2018 7:50am
Aw thank you, tommy, what a titillating comment... it’s so very you. And thank you for another Trilogy, I’m always knocked out by such honors.
As for “again & again”, I know how busy you’ve been, but still I’ve tried to be here waiting, during one of your quick hit & runs, as a surprise. I thought I’d better do my reply since the last of the day is at an end.
Maybe tomorrow...
🐾💌
As for “again & again”, I know how busy you’ve been, but still I’ve tried to be here waiting, during one of your quick hit & runs, as a surprise. I thought I’d better do my reply since the last of the day is at an end.
Maybe tomorrow...
🐾💌
Anonymous
- Edited 7th Sep 2022 7:45pm
19th Sep 2018 8:32pm
<< post removed >>
19th Sep 2018 8:49pm
My goodness, Danny - thank you so very much for that. Such an honor received.
25th Sep 2018 11:36pm
There’s a feeling of old myth and fantasy to this, like a renaissance painting with a vivid spirit. Classic
Oh gosh, thanks Taurus, what great comparisons you always give, and with such accuracy.
27th Sep 2018 5:11pm
Exotic, erotic, and thrilling. I feel like booking a tropical vacation now Jade Pandora, well penned.
27th Sep 2018 5:16pm
Thank you so much, my friend, as your thoughts, your words, always mean a great deal to me.
