Walrus man superhero

I am Walrus Man
If you are in trouble I will not save your ass
Because I am a lazy slob with a massive ass
I am so slow that by the time I reached you, you would probably be dead
so I will stay in bed
All I want to do is eat and sleep
I saw a documentary and saw a big fat Walrus that closely resembled me
I haven't bathed for a few days so we probably smell the same
Apart from the ice although I am often covered in ice cream
I laze around on the couch with my fat gut
I have a gruff voice so I even sound like one when I grunt
I am too lazy to venture out
I order fast food and watch TV
I used to be cute
I have aged badly
I used to think I was a Wolf but sadly I am more of a Walrus waddling about on my fat ass or eating candy