VANISHINGS  (I)  (sometime after 4:00am, 2-25-03, Galveston Island, Texas)

  
i awoke  
from my dreams  
with an    
immediate sense  
of sudden  
forgetting  
the intricate details  
of this  
other life  
i seem  
to live at  
night  
more than casual  
passive witness  
for i am  
keenly aware  
in the diaphanous  
moment  
each time  
i cross    
the slippery border  
from    
awakened state  
into dreaming  
from  
dreaming  
into and beyond  
an even    
deeper realm  
than lucid  
r e m  
wherein i am  
often involved  
as either  
seer  
observer  
or as    
a central participant  
key actor  
or subconscious  
central character  
peripherally  
or directly involved  
in spontaneously  
unexpected  
yet symbolically  
relevant  
seemingly real  
or surreal  
situations    
and otherworldly  
negotiations  
which    
in the moment  
of my    
slightest awakening  
of crossing back    
over  
that slippery  
diaphanous border  
i seem  
most often  
to instantly forget  
though every    
now and then  
i dont  
but such  
is the general  
nature  
of this my  
other  
secret life  
deep    
in that other  
nocturnal world  
where likewise  
every now  
and then  
yet again  
i also  
return  
at times  
from these journeys  
within  
with more vivid  
details  
of distal    
fleeting memories  
retained  
like faded postcards  
ghostly  
souvenirs  
of threadbare  
lingering remnants  
seen  
or just as    
real    
at times    
as well  
as this 3
d
world itself  
here on    
this other denser  
side of    
manifested    
illusory being  
which we all  
experience  live  
refer to as  
and call  
this life  
with surprising    
subconscious insights  
gleaned  
brought back    
into this    
my other  
more challenging  
conscious  
experience here  
yet still    
beyond all that  
at times  
upon further    
reflection  
ive occasionally    
thought    
to myself  
who am i  
to claim to  
know  
which of these  
worlds  
dimensions  
and realms  
is more real  
significant  
or not  
within    
these nightly  
nocturnal vanishings  
where i am  
both    
voyeur    
and voyager  
multi dimensional  
wanderer  
warrior  
and wonderer  
as well as  
mystic explorer  
preturnaturally  
prone  
and sunk  
third eye deep  
so oft  
somewhat lost  
though not  
somewhere  
not clearly    
seen  
just yet  
between  within  
beyond  
all known  
and unknown  
realms  
alike    
beyond  
all myths  
all dreams  
all futile  
pointless  
thought
seemingly
somewhat lost
again
sunk third eye
deep
so fairly frequently
oft
though not
this time
around
my invisible friends
i kid you
not
or so
at least
id like
to think
i thought
but now
on second thought
im almost
starting to feel
as if and
though
perhaps i
really am
lost
that is
this time around
my truly
only as good
as invisible
so called
fair weather
friends
and beyond that
sudden
still dawning
realization
im also starting
to almost want
to believe
that perhaps
feeling and being
somewhat lost
is not only
where i truly
am
but its also
where perhaps
again
im presently
meant
to be