deepundergroundpoetry.com
COVERT FIELD TEST
0035
“Double R71, what’s your location, over?”
“Upstairs, heading North down hallway
Target visible at 3m, ETA 20 seconds, over”
“Roger that, God speed, over!”
0036
“Light coming from under the door
Switching off night-vision
Entering the breech now
Stealth nearly impossible,
carpet is low cropped and yellowish beige, over.”
0037
“I’ve been immediately spotted!
Enormous occupant, now highly agitated,
Fires, what appears to be a footwear, missile.
Weapon confirmed by database
as a left, white, men’s New Balance Cush tennis shoe.
Rather lightweight projectile
No injury suffered
In untidy room hidden, position secure, for now, over.”
0105
“Proceeding with mission.
Lights still on.
Slowly creeping,
using bottom of door for cover.
Radio transmission spotty
antennae dragging on wood above.
Giant appears fixated on glowing screen, over.”
0106
“DAMN HE SEES ME!
In hot pursuit with same weapon raised to strike.
HA HA! Missed me again!
Going on offense…
Charging bare feet.
Woooooo Hoooooo!
Not-so-brave now, you corpulent bastard!”
Inept, frightened hunter dances out of the way.
Violent tremors shake the floor.
0128
“Scaling white plastic sheet
Cover for a painting
Completely exposed to view
I’m slipping, losing foothold
Once again detected
Objects on my perimeter are violently tossed aside
Sweating behemoth desperately searches.
Position again secure. over.”
0148
“Foot of bed reached...
climbing duvet
Aggressor sits mesmerized
once again by glowing screen.
DAMN! I’m reflected there!
MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
It’s trapped me in blanket folds
Squeezing so tightly...ARGH!
This...is...it…guys…
It’s...been...an...honor”
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
0210
“Double R71 acknowledge! Come in RR71!
Call the chief, now!
Best Inform his loved ones...he’s gone”
“Central nest this is Romeo Romeo 71, over!”
“Hold that call! Copy that Romeo Romeo 71,
Nice to have you back soldier!”
“Not sure why but I passed out.
The ESCPS (Exoskeletal Crush-Proof Suit)
worked brilliantly!
I know I give you nerds a lot of grief…
But you’re super-cucaracha geniuses.”
0212
“Bad news…
I think there may be a mole in R&D.”
“Roger that, RR71...explain.”
“After being, supposedly, crushed
I was doubled bagged before disposal.
As if my resurrection is expected.”
“Acknowledged, we’ll check it out.
Sit tight...an extraction team is on its way.
Well done!
“Roger that, Central Nest and thank you…
I’ll start chewing my way out.”
0221
“Snore away my obese nemesis.
In sweet *Elysium sleep...for now.
We will, in force return, to reign.
Many ominous changes
await you and your kind.
But for now sleep tight…
don’t let the bed bugs bite”
“Double R71, what’s your location, over?”
“Upstairs, heading North down hallway
Target visible at 3m, ETA 20 seconds, over”
“Roger that, God speed, over!”
0036
“Light coming from under the door
Switching off night-vision
Entering the breech now
Stealth nearly impossible,
carpet is low cropped and yellowish beige, over.”
0037
“I’ve been immediately spotted!
Enormous occupant, now highly agitated,
Fires, what appears to be a footwear, missile.
Weapon confirmed by database
as a left, white, men’s New Balance Cush tennis shoe.
Rather lightweight projectile
No injury suffered
In untidy room hidden, position secure, for now, over.”
0105
“Proceeding with mission.
Lights still on.
Slowly creeping,
using bottom of door for cover.
Radio transmission spotty
antennae dragging on wood above.
Giant appears fixated on glowing screen, over.”
0106
“DAMN HE SEES ME!
In hot pursuit with same weapon raised to strike.
HA HA! Missed me again!
Going on offense…
Charging bare feet.
Woooooo Hoooooo!
Not-so-brave now, you corpulent bastard!”
Inept, frightened hunter dances out of the way.
Violent tremors shake the floor.
0128
“Scaling white plastic sheet
Cover for a painting
Completely exposed to view
I’m slipping, losing foothold
Once again detected
Objects on my perimeter are violently tossed aside
Sweating behemoth desperately searches.
Position again secure. over.”
0148
“Foot of bed reached...
climbing duvet
Aggressor sits mesmerized
once again by glowing screen.
DAMN! I’m reflected there!
MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
It’s trapped me in blanket folds
Squeezing so tightly...ARGH!
This...is...it…guys…
It’s...been...an...honor”
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
0210
“Double R71 acknowledge! Come in RR71!
Call the chief, now!
Best Inform his loved ones...he’s gone”
“Central nest this is Romeo Romeo 71, over!”
“Hold that call! Copy that Romeo Romeo 71,
Nice to have you back soldier!”
“Not sure why but I passed out.
The ESCPS (Exoskeletal Crush-Proof Suit)
worked brilliantly!
I know I give you nerds a lot of grief…
But you’re super-cucaracha geniuses.”
0212
“Bad news…
I think there may be a mole in R&D.”
“Roger that, RR71...explain.”
“After being, supposedly, crushed
I was doubled bagged before disposal.
As if my resurrection is expected.”
“Acknowledged, we’ll check it out.
Sit tight...an extraction team is on its way.
Well done!
“Roger that, Central Nest and thank you…
I’ll start chewing my way out.”
0221
“Snore away my obese nemesis.
In sweet *Elysium sleep...for now.
We will, in force return, to reign.
Many ominous changes
await you and your kind.
But for now sleep tight…
don’t let the bed bugs bite”
Published 26th Jul 2018
Author's Note
A fictionalized characterization of an actual encounter, two nights ago, with Periplaneta Fuliginous. A cockroach may have been harmed in the making of this poem...too scared to check the trash bag to verify.
Image: http://bigmpestcontrol.com/cockroach-elimination/
* Nod to Shakespeare's Henry V, Act IV, Scene 1
Image: http://bigmpestcontrol.com/cockroach-elimination/
* Nod to Shakespeare's Henry V, Act IV, Scene 1
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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26th Jul 2018 00:14am
Ingenious write, Gahdess. You get those communications going and I have to send a MAYDAY! Love the last stanza too, after all the panic. Great job!
26th Jul 2018 00:20am
Thank you Sir Crow! These particular bugs are so big that they are easily personified. Frankly its seeming aggression freaked the hell out of me. I always appreciate your visits and comments my friend.
