deepundergroundpoetry.com
Writing a Poem while the Sheets are still Warm with Him
1
Like slow-motion waking
after a lover
has risen up and left
as I sleep,
though the early morning
in its coyness
refuses
to give up its notes.
2
Like shallow moonlight
at low tide,
that creeps up to my
bare feet
at the end of the bed,
and leaves a soft
foamy lapping
before it recedes.
3
Recoiling my warmth,
It’s already
disappeared under the
next lazy wave,
once I realize by then
what happened,
and is still
happening to me.
Published 27th Jun 2018
Author's Note
All day today, the true way of free form poetic express has filled me with inspiration using the form I was best known for (along with Japanese short form poetry) many years before I was invited to come to DUP. It feels good.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 18
reads 801
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
You were invited to DUP? Wow! Waves come as quickly as they go but they come back & that's the main thing here. Nice write.
27th Jun 2018 1:35am
Hi Billy, thank you for enjoying this write, I appreciate you coming over for a read. And yes, I was invited.
27th Jun 2018 1:45am
That's pretty cool Jade. Makes you sound like a VIP, lol. It is good on here though, with all the potential feedback oportunities & everything. :-)
27th Jun 2018 1:35am
Very sensual, Jade. Your words provide great imagery for the readers as I'm sure they imagine themselves waking up to feel their lover's warmth still in the bed.
Well done!
Well done!
Why thank you, Luna, that's most kind of you for stopping in for a read and to give me your thoughts. Take care <3
🌜🐅
🌜🐅
27th Jun 2018 1:48am
Anonymous
27th Jun 2018 4:04am
I enjoyed reading this very much Ms. Jade.
27th Jun 2018 6:14am
27th Jun 2018 5:53am
first i'd like to compliment the style you've used here its ama-zi-ng
the poem is perfect from the first word to the last
the poem is perfect from the first word to the last
27th Jun 2018 6:10am
27th Jun 2018 9:45am
27th Jun 2018 10:11am
Thank you, Vick, I really appreciate that, and it’s lovely that you’ve come over to visit and read my little piece.
27th Jun 2018 10:02am
27th Jun 2018 10:24am
Ah, what a beautiful express, SK, thanks so much. And I’ve always felt very free without anything to weigh me down when it comes to free verse; it’s just that I’d gone off in other poetic directions for a long spell and then when I woke up early yesterday morning, I started to write and post, then this one I wrote and posted, and I later did a third piece and published. It’s been uplifting.
27th Jun 2018 9:51pm
More fine free verse! My favorite lines:
Like shallow moonlight
at low tide,
that creeps up to my
bare feet
at the end of the bed,
and leaves a soft
foamy lapping
before it recedes.
Love that feel of moonlight waves. Excellent job!
Like shallow moonlight
at low tide,
that creeps up to my
bare feet
at the end of the bed,
and leaves a soft
foamy lapping
before it recedes.
Love that feel of moonlight waves. Excellent job!
1st Jul 2018 5:04am
Aah, gosh, thank you my dear friend... and I remember as I penned that part, feeling the sensation of those words as if a phantom.
1st Jul 2018 5:19am
What a wonderful sense of calm waking ease...
I feel it to the core of my soul...
Tommy
I feel it to the core of my soul...
Tommy
1st Jul 2018 6:36am
Oh my, thank you, tommy... that’s a very deep feeling... and you’ve managed to get it on your RL !
