deepundergroundpoetry.com
introspection
i have existed to bear witness to
the happiness that others have found and while..
ǹ̲͙͚̻̝o̤̥t͍͕͎͖̙̞͟ ̩y̢̭͇̺̮̳ͅe̳̞̙̳̪t̙..
i don't quite understand my meaning here
... foggy, dismal, u̗̘͚͜ͅn̷a̛͓͉͕b̯̱̜͍̰͙l͉̪̣̮̳͓̀è̦ ͚̞̤̯̭͍͓t̺o̧̻̟̟ͅ ͎̦̖̮͟f̭̺̻̩́o̷̪̬̳͎r͕͇̟̪m͖͎͇͈̥̘̻u̞͈͢l̖͈̬a͏̝͓̩͈̙ͅt̞̠̞̙̰e̼̼̰̰̺̙
thoughts without fraction, too many commas, s-s-s-tuttering
for too long i have neglected, n̰̪͇egl̵̜̱e̥͈̭̣͙̲c̯̞͉̟͉̭̪t̰̲e͔̱̯̻̟̙d̗ ̥̹ͅm̻̜̺̝y̥̹͠ͅṣ̞̫̦̭̙͔e̛̞͖͔͖͙l̸͕͈̼͍̰̼f̜͕͈̲̣͕̯ in favor of..
their happiness, s͈͍̹͟ęl̷̪̪f̫͟-̙̖͘s͙̲͈̱̤̹a͎̲͙̟͇͢c̷r̡͔̖̲i̤͚̰̜ͅf̵̺i̞͎̪͕̠̘c̰̪̲̖e̻͓͍͓̞̻̠ ̴̪͍̖̮̹͚, ever spiraling down to lift them up.
higher, rise higher a̢̬n̪͙̣̹̳͙d̘͖̬̱̫ ͏̲̳̖a͖͉l̗͕̱̱͓͙͇͢l͇̳̲͘o͏̳̮̯͈͔̙͈w̛͔̙͉̞̟ ͓͓͎̯̫͞m͙e͚͔͔̳͇̥ ̰̣̯̦t̮̫̠̝̲͈̺o͈ b͎̕e ̖̥͇̜̻y̬̼ͅọ͉͉̙uŗ̞̭ ͚̘̳͈f̯͉͚͈̘̣̤ou̪̪̖͈n̳͖̭͈̮d̘̪͖̳̩̥̖a͏͓̬̜̹̗͕̼t̻̣̻̳̣i̱̮̦̤͞o̳͎̦͍̝n̴̯̙̖ ̭͖̠̩̹͢ͅo̺̘̦̪̲͓ͅf̰͍̜̖̼̝̯͘ ̲b͠o͈̳̳̣̜̱͠n͘e̤͘s̺͈͎.
in tandem manic, manic, MANIC energy collides with exhaustion and they say 'you can' but i c̺a̭̤͕͍n̗̞͍̹̪̣̮͢n̘̱̤̦̠̲̤o̝͓̲͚t̴̘͈͓̻̼.. and to accept this would benefit only myself.
you cannot yet, yet, but yet.. still makes it possible.
i've worried so long... about those at my side, those who have left my side and taken a part.. a part of what once was me. that i have lost what.. that w̠͠h̩͓̩́o͓̘̟̩͈̳ ̥̠̫iͅ ̗̳u̗̖͙̕ś̻̬̤̜̞͈e̩̜̼d̢̖̣̗͚̝ͅͅ ̜̱̼͎̫̝͝to̯̣̗̫̣͉ ̪̳͓̞͝b̻̹e.
i fear my place within this world where apathy is king and at the head sits a sovereign of gilded gold. feeding upon the greed of others and leaving our most helpless.. myself. our world was n͏͙̺e͈̭͙̦͉̲v͍̯̦e͞ͅr̼͍ m̛̭e̫͎͉͉̻͝a͔̗̣̻n͉t̳̪̹͈͚ to be a society of darwnism for we have evolved..
a͈̣͉ ͎̦͈͚̳͟n͓̙͕͕̩͕͍e͉̞̣̰̜͔ͅw̭̙̥̖ ̲̥̬̹ş̼̭̙̥̠̳͖t͉̦͇at̼̪̩e̛ ̫o͓f̩̣̘̝̹ͅ ̬̮͔́e͚͔m̛̩͓̹ṕ̦̙̺̣a̤̞̯̘̤̹thy̧̘̟ ̩̭̪͜t̶͇̼̼͕͉̳̪h̥at̬̣͝ ͔͚̲̳̥n̨͉ͅe̝v̛̼͉͕̬̱̭e̡̪̣̳̘̱̻r̞͈̭͞ ͖͎̫͡t͔o̜̦̹̫̮͚o͇k̞͡ ͎̜̱̼r̖̗̤ǫ̱̘̮͎͚̥̰o͔̪̤̯̩t͠.͉͔̟
though it begs.. oh does it beg the question: have we truly left behind the savage manner in which we find comfort within? and further yet, will you, w-will you be kind to the downtrodden.. l̗͖̹̙̞̻ík̖͜e̤͙̟ ̘̹̰̮̱̠m̴̦͍e̮͔̰̪̲̦?̴̤̬̲̟̖̼͈
the happiness that others have found and while..
ǹ̲͙͚̻̝o̤̥t͍͕͎͖̙̞͟ ̩y̢̭͇̺̮̳ͅe̳̞̙̳̪t̙..
i don't quite understand my meaning here
... foggy, dismal, u̗̘͚͜ͅn̷a̛͓͉͕b̯̱̜͍̰͙l͉̪̣̮̳͓̀è̦ ͚̞̤̯̭͍͓t̺o̧̻̟̟ͅ ͎̦̖̮͟f̭̺̻̩́o̷̪̬̳͎r͕͇̟̪m͖͎͇͈̥̘̻u̞͈͢l̖͈̬a͏̝͓̩͈̙ͅt̞̠̞̙̰e̼̼̰̰̺̙
thoughts without fraction, too many commas, s-s-s-tuttering
for too long i have neglected, n̰̪͇egl̵̜̱e̥͈̭̣͙̲c̯̞͉̟͉̭̪t̰̲e͔̱̯̻̟̙d̗ ̥̹ͅm̻̜̺̝y̥̹͠ͅṣ̞̫̦̭̙͔e̛̞͖͔͖͙l̸͕͈̼͍̰̼f̜͕͈̲̣͕̯ in favor of..
their happiness, s͈͍̹͟ęl̷̪̪f̫͟-̙̖͘s͙̲͈̱̤̹a͎̲͙̟͇͢c̷r̡͔̖̲i̤͚̰̜ͅf̵̺i̞͎̪͕̠̘c̰̪̲̖e̻͓͍͓̞̻̠ ̴̪͍̖̮̹͚, ever spiraling down to lift them up.
higher, rise higher a̢̬n̪͙̣̹̳͙d̘͖̬̱̫ ͏̲̳̖a͖͉l̗͕̱̱͓͙͇͢l͇̳̲͘o͏̳̮̯͈͔̙͈w̛͔̙͉̞̟ ͓͓͎̯̫͞m͙e͚͔͔̳͇̥ ̰̣̯̦t̮̫̠̝̲͈̺o͈ b͎̕e ̖̥͇̜̻y̬̼ͅọ͉͉̙uŗ̞̭ ͚̘̳͈f̯͉͚͈̘̣̤ou̪̪̖͈n̳͖̭͈̮d̘̪͖̳̩̥̖a͏͓̬̜̹̗͕̼t̻̣̻̳̣i̱̮̦̤͞o̳͎̦͍̝n̴̯̙̖ ̭͖̠̩̹͢ͅo̺̘̦̪̲͓ͅf̰͍̜̖̼̝̯͘ ̲b͠o͈̳̳̣̜̱͠n͘e̤͘s̺͈͎.
in tandem manic, manic, MANIC energy collides with exhaustion and they say 'you can' but i c̺a̭̤͕͍n̗̞͍̹̪̣̮͢n̘̱̤̦̠̲̤o̝͓̲͚t̴̘͈͓̻̼.. and to accept this would benefit only myself.
you cannot yet, yet, but yet.. still makes it possible.
i've worried so long... about those at my side, those who have left my side and taken a part.. a part of what once was me. that i have lost what.. that w̠͠h̩͓̩́o͓̘̟̩͈̳ ̥̠̫iͅ ̗̳u̗̖͙̕ś̻̬̤̜̞͈e̩̜̼d̢̖̣̗͚̝ͅͅ ̜̱̼͎̫̝͝to̯̣̗̫̣͉ ̪̳͓̞͝b̻̹e.
i fear my place within this world where apathy is king and at the head sits a sovereign of gilded gold. feeding upon the greed of others and leaving our most helpless.. myself. our world was n͏͙̺e͈̭͙̦͉̲v͍̯̦e͞ͅr̼͍ m̛̭e̫͎͉͉̻͝a͔̗̣̻n͉t̳̪̹͈͚ to be a society of darwnism for we have evolved..
a͈̣͉ ͎̦͈͚̳͟n͓̙͕͕̩͕͍e͉̞̣̰̜͔ͅw̭̙̥̖ ̲̥̬̹ş̼̭̙̥̠̳͖t͉̦͇at̼̪̩e̛ ̫o͓f̩̣̘̝̹ͅ ̬̮͔́e͚͔m̛̩͓̹ṕ̦̙̺̣a̤̞̯̘̤̹thy̧̘̟ ̩̭̪͜t̶͇̼̼͕͉̳̪h̥at̬̣͝ ͔͚̲̳̥n̨͉ͅe̝v̛̼͉͕̬̱̭e̡̪̣̳̘̱̻r̞͈̭͞ ͖͎̫͡t͔o̜̦̹̫̮͚o͇k̞͡ ͎̜̱̼r̖̗̤ǫ̱̘̮͎͚̥̰o͔̪̤̯̩t͠.͉͔̟
though it begs.. oh does it beg the question: have we truly left behind the savage manner in which we find comfort within? and further yet, will you, w-will you be kind to the downtrodden.. l̗͖̹̙̞̻ík̖͜e̤͙̟ ̘̹̰̮̱̠m̴̦͍e̮͔̰̪̲̦?̴̤̬̲̟̖̼͈
Published 29th Apr 2018
Author's Note
as usual, i don't really know what this is; welcome to the collection of my fractured and fragmented thoughts. as of late, i've discovered that i have a plethora of health problems and issues that i've caused due to my own manic anxiety and depression. i hope my words leave you with something to think about or that you enjoy them in some spade.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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