New Years

I'm not sure what to say
I'm not sure what to feel
But I always feel so lonely
just like a third wheel
I get the urge to cry
And I feel like I can't breathe
I wish I could start over
Just like New Years Eve
New Years gets to start off fresh
She gets to start off on a clean slate
But me, I can't seem to change
I keep pushing away the plate
The plate of New food
Change
Mixed Vegetables
The plate that's trying to fatten me up
And make every flaw acceptable
I can't seem to get over them
Even though everyone else can
You'd think that after fourteen years
I'd be used to them
But the fireworks haven't yet exploded
My dreams are not yet exposed
I cannot seem to find the key
So the door is sadly still closed
Im working on it though
With the help of my loving boyfriend!
I really hope and pray that we'll be together 'till the end!
He knows just what to do
He knows just what to say
And he loves me even when I'm being stupid-
Which is mostly everyday
I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost him
But I know that it wouldn't be funny
Or smart
And definately not awesome
So that's all the more reason not to do anything stupid
Even though I will anyways
I'm just hoping he stays so forgiving
And loves me until our dying days