Extract from "I Think Thefore I Fee: A Lawyer's Candid Confessions"

May I say by way of intro
Some preliminary info?
My name is Mr Guttersneak,
When I was young I went to uni,
To have the law imparted to me.
But while I often paid attention
I can’t recall a single mention,      
Of things that might be fair or just,
I never heard such things discussed.
Instead I had my head instilled,
With uninspiring legal tripe,
And then my youthful brain was filled
With ways to cheat of every type:    
I majored in the ways to win,
On minor technicalities,
I studied how to fudge and blur,
And smudge and smear, and cast a slur,
To modify realities,
And strictly stick to fallacies.
Through dint of drill in methods ill
I learnt my expertise,
To twist the facts, avoid contracts,
As athletes bend the knees.  
 And when I could dispute the truth,
And shift the blame with ease,
And knew by heart the swindler’s art,
And was a buff on legal guff,
And had a grip of brinkmanship,
I won my law degrees.
And joined the lawyers on the roll,  
A bunch of shysters, on the whole.
 
We are the women and the guys,
Who'll never reach a compromise.
We know that when we disagree
We're sure to get a bigger fee.
We may appear to be sincere,
But don’t be fooled for we are schooled,  
In all the sorts of crime and sin,
And much rehearsed and fully versed,  
In every way to take you in ...